Jose Canseco Listed 10 Utterly Insane New Year’s Resolutions on Twitter Last Night

If you're one of Canseco's 485,000 followers, you know that it's difficult to be sure when he's trolling or when he's actually being sincere. By all accounts, though, the 10—well, actually 11, considering he listed two No. 5's— New Year's Resolutions he gave last night were for real. Here they are, not listed in order of believability:

1. spend more time with my daughter 

2. get stronger and fitter

3. help people who are getting screwed wherever i can 

4. return to pro baseball as player or manager and have dinners with McGwire, La Russa, Bonds, and Selig. 

5. Fight Shaq in MMA cage match 

5. develop and launch Ponce de CAnseco a real anti aging drink 

6. Get elected to a important political office in the U.S. or canada to help all people and governments with there problems 

7. Become a world class entreprenur and found at least two great companies that make peoples lives better and funner 

8. Write a third book and do a move deal for Juiced! 

9. Do at least 100 promotional deals for good companies and products like Animal Rights, Human health, Environmental, and Beer companies 

10. Use position as A List entertainer doing reality, TV, movies, blogs, columns, appearances to be able to do more charity 


“A list entertainer,” “good companies like beer companies,” “get elected to a important political office”… There's a lot to love here. We'll take two cases of Ponce de CAnseco, you fucking lunatic.