There Is No Place I’d Rather Be Than Where Julian Edelman’s Super Bowl Ring Was This Fourth Of July
The life of a professional athlete is something a lazy blogger like me can only speculate through movies, folk tales, and Instagram pictures. The only thing better than the life of a professional athlete would be the life of a good-looking, Superbowl-winning professional athlete in the prime of his career during the offseason. That’s like playing this game of life with cheat codes.
So when Julian Edelman paraded his Superbowl ring around on the Fourth of July, which at 205 diamonds and 4.85 carats were the biggest SB ring ever, he was bound to have chicks flock to him like the salmon of Capistrano. And flock they did.
Check out the perfect picture below that I legit just made my desktop background. Can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be than between this pair of tan boobies. You’d have to send someone to check if I were still alive after a few days. Bring me food and water and other bare-boned provisionals because otherwise, I’d plan on dying here.
To give you bros a little full body perspective:
And what’s a party without nine scantily clad smoke shows? It’s every party I’ve ever thrown, that’s what.
As I was binge-drinking warm beers and texting old flames who were completely uninterested, this dude was being courted by women who wouldn’t talk to me if I pulled them from a car wreck. Take a look at the face of the luckiest man on the planet.