I didn’t know this until today, but actress Kate Mara is basically the First Lady of NFL Football here in America. I knew that her father’s family own the New York Giants, which is already pretty mind-blowing, but until watching the Conan sketch above I had no idea her mother’s family own the Pittsburgh Steelers. It genuinely doesn’t get more (family) connected in the NFL than this. She’s basically the Jackie Onassis (of the NFL) in the modern era, and I’m having trouble wrapping my mind around how one person’s life can be so incredible.
Anyways, in the Conan clip above actress Kate Mara (Fantastic Four, The Martian, House of Cards) talks about how she has a knack for dating British blokes. It’s not entirely clear if Kate’s dating these British bros because of their accents or because she can never be sure if American men are using her for NFL connections, but in the clip she goes on to discuss about how she had to instantly dump one of these British suitors after he accidentally drop-kicked the Vince Lombardi Trophy with his steel-toed boots.
As I’m sure every bro here knows, the Vince Lombardi Trophy is each year awarded to the NFL team that wins the Super Bowl, and it’s a sacrosanct artifact. The trophy made an appearance at Kate Mara’s father’s home, the family who owns the New York Giants, shortly after the Giants won the Super Bowl. Everyone was given white gloves to handle the trophy but this British dude managed to drop it and then decided to catch it with his steel-toed boots and kick it up like the trophy’s a fucking hacky sack. Kate caught the all-telling glance from her father and she knew she had to dump this dude immediately. And that’s where the story ends.