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Knicks All-Star power forward Kristaps Porzingis knows that social media can be a powerful wingman. The 7’3” Latvian sensation is no stranger to throw his hat in the ring to strangers on the world wide web since becoming a household name. The 22-year-old most recently showed his infatuation with model Taleen A. on Twitter, but before we get to that, lets briefly review his storied history.
The Unicorn pointed his horn toward Abigail Ratchford on February 21, 2017.
The Results:
It ain’t nothin.
Kristaps throwing an emoji at Croatian model Ines Nikic — June 2, 2017
The Results:
Ines caught wind of Porzingis’ advance and posted a photo of her kissing her boyfriend with the caption “Are you sleeping peacefully at night, Kristaps?” in Croatian. Is that bad?
Oh, he was also informed that she was born in 1999 and not of legal age. Yeah that’s bad.
Kristaps would then move on to the other 1 billion women on social media, never to talk to Ines again.
Just kidding.
Ines turns 18. Porzingis comes a’knockin. August 16, 2017.
Kristaps Porzingis is a savage pic.twitter.com/1l3KcpzvhC
— Hoop Central (@TheHoopCentral) August 17, 2017
Results: See previous result.
PorzinGod became a fan of Instagram’s original booty model, Jen Selter. December 2, 2017.
#OneOfUs pic.twitter.com/yiJA2XvuRp
— DRAFT (@PlayDraft) December 3, 2017
The Results:
Personalized unicorn shoutout.
Selter shows up to the Knicks game.
https://twitter.com/World_Wide_Wob/status/940702682884517888
Let’s go @nyknicks
— Jen Selter (@JenSelter) December 13, 2017
She then cast her All-Star vote for Porzingis on Twitter.
— Jen Selter (@JenSelter) January 9, 2018
Final Results: I choose to believe they had intercourse. Sexually.
February 12, 2018. Porzingis is recovering from successful ACL surgery and it looks like those pain killers are making him loosey goosey with likes.
Good to see Porzingis is still getting shots off during his rehab @World_Wide_Wob pic.twitter.com/aZcwQKc8DH
— Al (@BigSturg) February 13, 2018
Taleen, who has 60,000 Instagram followers, isn’t as high-profile as Selter or Ratchford, so Porzingis didn’t see it necessary to add an emoji.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BfFhD9rhFKN/?hl=en&taken-by=itstaleen
The results: Pending.
******
Let this be a lesson to all you hopeful romantics out there: if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off, and wait until they’re 18 you goddamn creep.