Remembering The Malice At The Palace On Its 15-Year Anniversary And How Close Jermaine O’Neal Came To Killing A Fan

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Fifteen years ago to the day, the most infamous incident in NBA history unfolded at The Palace of Auburn Hills.

The brawl, which will forever be known as The Malice at the Palace, resulted in nine players from both the Pistons and Pacers being suspended for a total of 146 games, with players losing a collective $11 million in forfeited salary. Five players were charged with assault and sentenced to a year of probation and community service, with an additional five fans slapped with criminal charges and banned from attending Pistons home games for life.

Lets take a look at the brawl that single-handedly led the NBA to beef up stadium security forever and limit the sale of alcohol in games.

So this fuckhead threw a bottle at Ron Artest while he was laying on the scorer’s table.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a rare time a troll has been held accountable for his actions.

Let’s evaluate the progression of the dude in the black shirt.

Phase 1: Still talking shit behind a wall of fans.


Phase 2: The ‘Wait, Is He Hopping Over The Seats’ look. That is the face of a clenched asshole.


Phase 3: Fear, Panic. Life flashes before eyes. Evacuates bowels into his JNCOs.


Phase 4: Sweet, sweet retribution.


If there was any silver lining in the chaos, it’s that two men’s lives were actually saved by a slippery floor. If Jermaine O’Neal connected on this Turtle-looking motherfucker, he’d be in jail for life and Turtle would no longer have a life.

It is absolutely befuddling how Jermaine O’Neal only received a 15-game suspension (the equivalent to a three-game suspension in the NFL) for almost taking a dude’s head clean off.

I one day hope to acquire the confidence it requires to be 5-foot-6 and shaped like a Furby and genuinely think I am capable of squaring up with Ron Artest and Jermaine O’Neal.

The suspensions for the brawl were as follows:

Ron Artest: 86
Stephen Jackson: 30
Jermaine O’Neal: 15
Ben Wallace: 6
Reggie Miller: 1
Chauncey Billups: 1

The wildest part about all the devastation is that after Ron Artest was escorted into the locker room, he asked Stephen Jackson: “Do you think we’re gonna get in trouble?”

Lol, nah bruh. Maybe a warning.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.