Getty Image
Truth is stranger than fiction, so the saying goes.
And that certainly seems to be the case for former Michigan Wolverines staffer and (alleged) sign-stealing mole Connor Stalions.
Never mind the fact that the name Connor Stalions sounds more like an alias used at male strip club rather than a real-life human being.
Stalions’ story of (alleged) espionage, done without the knowledge of Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh or anyone around him (according to Stalions) is strange enough on its own.
And that’s before Laine Higgins’ story in the Wall Street Journal on Tuesday digging into Stalions’ life before he became the main character of the 2023 college football season.
“Property records indicate that he purchased a $485,000 house near the Michigan campus in Ann Arbor in March 2022, shortly before his stint with the Marines ended,” Higgins states in the story. “Not long after he moved in that spring, dozens of old vacuum cleaners appeared on his front porch. The unsightly stash peeved neighbors and sparked the interest of the homeowners association, which sued Stalions for allegedly operating an appliance refurbishing business out of his home in violation of its bylaws.”
Stalions defended himself in court. But he didn’t explain the stash of vacuums. Instead, he defended his character and his Michigan fandom.
“I suspect that whoever has chosen to sue me either 1. doesn’t like the fact that I am a veteran; or 2. is a Michigan State fan and knows I am a Michigan football coach and wants to draw my attention away,” Stalions reportedly said in a letter written in response to a summons in October 2022.
As it turns out, Stalions’ vacuum collection was part of a company he started to sell restored items on Amazon.
Though Higgins reports that the company saw very little success.
“Several buyers complained of defective units with missing parts—that earned him a seller rating of 2.8 out of five stars,” the report claims.
Connor Stalions: Michigan spy. Potential male stripper. Used vacuum salesman.
The man can do it all.