Myles Garrett (6′4″, 271 LBS) Says A Crazed ‘Fan’ Hopped Out Of His Car And Punched Him In The Face

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Myles Garrett — the 6’4″, 271 lbs 23-year-old defensive end that was drafted by the Cleveland Browns with the #1 overall pick in the 2017 NFL draft — has haters.

Frankly, if you’re doing something remotely well — whether it be sacking quarterbacks or writing blogs (like your boy) — you should have haters.

For every piece of hate e-mail I get (literally today I received one that said, and I quote, “Could you film yourself taking a baseball to the back of the head or a full water bottle to the face?”), I take it as a positive, because it lets me know that someone out there is taking their free time to read my article alllllll the way down to the bottom where my contact information is, which only makes me and the wonderful company I work for richer.

So, thank you for the hate mail,, because at the end of the day, it’s all love.

Point being is that we all have haters, Myles Garrett included. However, it appears that Garrett’s haters are legitimate psychos — as opposed to mine, who merely e-mail me passively aggressive bullshit such as “there must be multitudes of pissed off people who fucking hate you for your stupidity” (also a real message) — as one of them apparently “hopped out of his car” and tried to punch the behemoth defensive end in the face.

Folks, I’m not someone to tell someone else how to live their lives, but I would suggest that if you’re going to pick a fight with an NFL player, pick a kicker or something. And not even Steve Weatherford-like kicker, more like a Cairo Santos-like dude.



Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Contact him on Twitter @eric_ital or via email