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I’ve been a pretty giant dude my entire life, and while I might be 6’10”, I—much to the chagrin of countless strangers I’ve met—do not play basketball (although that doesn’t often stop them from asking for a picture with me regardless).
I’ve always said that being as tall as I am is like being a celebrity without any of the money or the fame, and while I don’t necessarily enjoy being gawked at and bothered in public, I don’t think I’d donate any inches to someone in need if such a thing was possible.
I might not be a professional athlete but I did get a chance to spend a day in the oversized shoes of an NBA player close to five years ago when I donned a Men’s Warehouse suit, a pair of fake diamonds studs, and took the short stroll from my apartment in Brooklyn to the Barclays Center, where I successfully infiltrated the NBA Draft and proceeded to have the night of my life.
It was one hell of an evening where I engaged in shenanigans like signing the cast of a small child, trying to avoid being detained by arena security, and taking more complimentary shots of Jameson than I could keep track of at a Manhattan bar that offered me free drinks for life (I have not tried to take them up on the offer since the truth came out).
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and as a result, I assume I should be flattered by the 6’7″, 285 pound “Deuce Dominguez,” the guy who channeled his inner me and recently pulled off the same hustle in Nashville during the NFL Draft, where he convinced unsuspecting drunk people that he was a former Boise State player who’d been drafted by the Packers.
While the title would lead you to believe otherwise, Deuce didn’t actually make it onto the floor of the draft like I so bravely did (nbd) but it looks like he had one hell of a time hitting the streets of Nashville.
From one big dude to another: cherish it. You’re probably not going to top that night for as long as you live.