NFL Fashion Review Week 17: Sam Darnold And Daniel Jones Looked Like They Just Landed On Planet Earth

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The final week of the NFL regular season could not have gone down any more fitting than it did, putting a wonderful belated bow on 2020. A great place to start would be with the Texans tying the game with just 22 seconds left and still finding a way to lose to the Titans in regulation. Outstandingly horrendous sequence. Even better, the battle for the coveted NFC East crown saw the Giants and Cowboys attempt to hand one another the game, with the G-Men ultimately prevailing only to watch Doug Pederson go full Kevin Nash.

Just beautiful stuff all around. Yes, “The Nate Sudfeld Game” will hilariously live in NFL lore forever.

One massive takeaway from the 2020 NFL regular season is that these non-traditional postgame press conferences have offered way, waaay too many EXTREME CLOSE-UPS of Tom Brady‘s ever-growing forehead. Make it stop.

Since the Vikings have yet to put anything up from Kirk Cousins‘ final postgame press conference of the season — which is super weird — let’s move forward and ask what the hell is with this Mitt Romney-looking madness?

Speaking of Kirk, this was a straight-up disaster. NFL referees need a full offseason of electroshock therapy.

On that inspiring note, it’s time for our last full dive of the regular season with all clowns on deck. So whether it was fire, fierce, funny or fail, I’m about to step up to the top turnbuckle and soar like Randy Savage in his finest moment.

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Derrick Henry

In the year 2020, an NFL running back found a way to eclipse the 2,000-yard mark by running for 250 and 2 TDs in a Week 17 win that clinched the division and a home playoff game rather than having to travel to Buffalo. Everything about that sentence is flat-out absurd. King Henry reigns supreme and he damn well knows it. What a look.

Andy Dalton

Not even snow or generally slip-sloppy, putrid New Jersey weather is capable of standing a chance against Andy Dalton and his impeccable, impenetrable hair. Sadly, this is the best thing that can be said about the Dallas Cowboys at the moment.

Sam Darnold

This is the very last time we’ll be able to discuss these routinely hilarious freeze-frames of Sam Darnold talking to the media, so you’re getting the luxury of having two. Just unbelievable. It’s as if someone from high up in the Jets organization requested that Sam absolutely must channel the flattened spirit of Spaulding Smails at all times.

Daniel Jones

As you know, the very same rule has applied to any and all videos featuring vibrant Giants QB, Daniel Jones. It’s uncanny. Seriously, how is this the choice? Because there is a choice. Then again, whoever crafts these videos for SNY shouldn’t change a thing. Gonna miss these naturally awkward clowns.

Aaron Rodgers

The only thing saving Aaron Rodgers at this point is the presence of that timeless Adidas trefoil logo because the guy has literally been wearing the same outfit every single week all season long. Never seen anything like it, although it’s a very fitting representation of life in Green Bay.

Jarvis Landry

Pretty sure Jarvis Landry is wearing mascara here, which is exactly why I would pay good money for him to serve as Aaron Rodgers’ stylist for one week. Just one week.

DK Metcalf

In sticking with the colorful hair theme, DK Metcalf’s freshly dyed head looks like someone dropped this photo directly into MS Paint and went to town with the brush. Amazingly cartoonish.

DeAndre Hopkins

In his mind, DeAndre Hopkins is constantly flying back and forth to New York and Paris for secret fashion shows. It’s actually reached the point where I too am convinced DeAndre Hopkins is flying back and forth to New York and Paris for secret fashion shows.

Matt Ryan

Conversely, the 24/7 electric factory that is Matty Meetings simply refuses to relent in this latest dazzling edition of the “commuter guy” look. If you showed this photo to someone who’s not in the know and told them this was a humorless pharmaceutical salesman based out of Des Moines, Iowa, they would barely bat an eye.

Mason Rudolph

Mason Rudolph has been taken into custody by Campus Security but remains vague and refuses to answer questions about what went down at the Keg House on Friday night.

Cam Newton

One might say this is the look of a deflated Cam Newton who’s finally facing the reality of what may have possibly been the last game of his NFL career. However — and it’s a big however — once you get a better angle of Cam’s ridiculously great leather hat you’ll be happy to know Cam is still very much Cam.

JuJu Smith-Schuster

JuJu finally stopped dancing but he’ll never stop wearing shower curtains often seen in Florida retirement homes and for a friendly price at Kohl’s.

Baker Mayfield

It’s really becoming an odd thing in that the more the Browns win football games and find success, the younger Baker Mayfield continues to look. It defies all logic, much like the Browns stepping up to win a big game that popped a playoff berth for the first time since 1863. What a world.

Russell Wilson (Part 1)

Could it be any more obvious that Ciara won the argument for Russ’s flight outfit? “OK FINE,” he said. “But let me choose from the pile of aviators.” Gotta pick your battles.

Jordyn Brooks

Hey Russ, Jordyn Brooks is your freakin’ teammate, man! Not too late to start taking some notes because this is how you travel in style and comfort.

Matthew Stafford!

Matthew Stafford has barely been featured on any of the Lions’ social media platforms, but better late than never. And woah, the mask to match the coat? Where the hell am I? It’s also enjoyable that Stafford is clearly on the verge of flipping off the photographer.

Russell Wilson (Part 2)

Russell Wilson took the wheel for “Part 2” of his look, which finally allowed for him to wear a pair of pants he clearly borrowed from even more undersized QB, Kyler Murray. He actually ended up playing in these and they’re set to be surgically removed on Thursday by Dr. Isaac Yankem.

Lamar Jackson

Not sure specifically what week it was, but when Lamar Jackson started showing up to press conferences in his pads instead of his “heading to South Beach with the boys” fits, the Ravens have been kicking ass. To be honest, those pads are stylish enough in their own right.

Drew Brees

Drew Brees always, always dresses like a life coach who’s heading up a team retreat with a bunch of accountants, and then he goes off and pulls this smooth Jedi-like move for Week 17 outta nowhere? Anything is possible, which means there still is hope for our boy Matt Ryan.

Mike Glennon

Mike Glennon might be the only person on the planet who could swiftly pass for Gardner Minshew without the mullet. That’s either a tremendous compliment or the worst thing someone could ever hear. Really depends on your geographic location.

Justin Herbert

A player can experience a breakout rookie year that looks to be the start of something truly special, but — as anyone can plainly see — the emotional damage of a bad haircut has the potential to last a lifetime.

Josh Allen

Quite possibly the greatest “Bills Mafia” jacket ever created. Josh Allen’s relationship with the fans in Buffalo is one of the coolest things going in the NFL right now. #PanchoPower

Teddy Bridgewater

According to Wikipedia, Teddy Bridgewater is 28-years-old yet somehow looks just old enough to get his tricycle license.

Cam Jordan

Cam Jordan and fur coats, like peanut butter and jelly.

Za’Darius Smith

Did someone say fur coats? Good god, this is fantastic. That dungeon door of a coat could easily wrap around Robby Anderson at least 33 times, with room to spare.

Kemoko Turay!!!

What an incredible week for fur coats. Now if I had known a single thing about Kemoko Turay before seeing this photo, he would’ve been featured in the headline. Very sad!

Gardner Minshew

Major Gear Switch Alert: Gardner Minshew sporting a mullet that appears to have since been braided to go along with a pair of Jorts and a Bud Light hoodie? So on-brand it hurts. Put this man in a Super Bowl commercial already.

Donovan Peoples-Jones

Browns’ wide receiver Donovan Peoples-Jones was showing off clear and significant signs of “The OBJ & Jarvis effect.” Not necessarily a bad thing. Donovan has more or less passed through the first of many different portals. The invisible bag he’s holding with his right hand was the perfect finishing touch.

Trent Sherfield!

And this is what’s commonly known as “The DeAndre Effect.” The NFL is quickly catching up to the NBA, as Trent is wearing the greatest bathrobe casual/leisure suit hybrid these eyes have ever seen.

J.J. Watt

J.J. Watt’s been on a completely unexpected roll lately, this time delivering a bulletproof classic with the Saved By The Bell hoodie.

Larry Ogunjobi

I would be willing to trade a bad hair day streak of up to as many as five to seven straight days if it meant this jacket could be mine. That’s called fearless and selfless, my friends.

Kenyan Drake

Kenyan Drake looking smooth and refusing to lose by way of the greatest shoes. Sorry not sorry for the rhyming. As for the “Faith” baseball jersey, no clue what it is or what it’s tied to, but I like it.

Preston Smith

If Preston Smith allowed Aaron Rodgers to borrow those aviators for just one day, all could be forgiven.

Jaylon Smith

There’s a whole lot going on here but the only thing that matters is the Al Pacino in Scarface “Influencer” shirt.

Zeke Elliott

Zeke’s jacket says “Zeke” because of course it does, although all anyone really cares about here are those Jordan III x Fragment kicks.

George Kittle

All Kittle had to do here was face the camera to show off the Spiderman logo on his t-shirt, so as to lessen the surprisingly subdued feel. Anyway, see ya’ next year, King George.

T.Y. Hilton

Very nice to see T.Y. Hilton bounced back and make a swift recovery from his storied martian debacle from last week. #NeverForget

Kyler Murray

Kyler Murray always out there looking like a doll that’s suddenly sprung to life. The guy is listed at an extremely generous 5’10” but many people are saying he’s no taller than Peyton Manning’s infamous projection TV forehead.

Chris Godwin

Chris Godwin is either a huge fan of the great Muggsy Bogues or bizarrely paying homage to Malik Monk with this beauty of a Hornets jersey. All I know is it sure as hell better be the former or we’re gonna have a problem.

Montez Sweat

Great suit, horrific sock-shoes. The important thing to take away here is that Montez Sweat has to be one of the most underrated, underappreciated names in sports.

Jonathan Taylor

Yes, rookie running back Jonathan Taylor is wearing a sweatshirt that appears to feature UFOs and his shoes foolishly have zippers, but he deserves to be here. The Colts’ unsung hero isn’t getting nearly enough shout from the media.

Davante Adams

Davante Adams is the winner of this week’s “Sometimes Less Is More” award. He also broke Sterling Sharpe’s 27-year-old Packers record for catches in a season. Beast.

Deshaun Watson

Deshaun Watson led the NFL in passing yardage and dressed to the nines every week while the Texans still managed to find a way to finish with an atrocious record of 4-12. Someone, anyone, please save this rare gem.

Dre Kirkpatrick

Somehow missed back in October was Dre Kirkpatrick’s showstopping money jacket. The Cardinals have quickly become the team with all the heat after approximately 16 games with DeAndre Hopkins in the locker room.

Justin Simmons

Yet another custom jacket by Gent’s Playbook that I want, need, must have. Plus, his jeans aren’t rolled up to his knees. Victory! Justin Simmons just gets it.

Larry Fitzgerald

So is this it for Fitz? Say it ain’t so. Actually, say it with me: ONE MORE YEAR! ONE MORE YEAR!

Brian Burns

For whatever reason, the tweet crops out Brian Burn’s superb cowboy hat but you can still see that the Panthers DE is showing strong allegiance to the Scarf SZN Train and that’s kinda all that matters. The Spiderman cooler is there to serve as the filthy curveball no one saw coming.

Aaron Jones

Aaron Jones might wear the same damn thing every week but when that same damn thing happens to be a sombrero, it’s required to land in the win column.

A.J. Green & Tee Higgins

Come for A.J.’s stellar jacket, stay for A.J. and Tee’s Nike SB Dunks.

Allen Lazard

The subtle lizard branding for Lazard is great. However — and this comes with great sadness — those hellacious shades must be sent through a wood chipper no later than RIGHT NOW.

Anthony Walker Jr.

You wear a Kobe shirt, you make the list. It’s as simple as that. Always and forever.

Tavon Austin?

Tavon Austin?? The Packers WR who’s played 4 games and hauled in a total of 5 catches for a whopping 20 yards? Well, yeah. Looks like he just stepped off the set of Power after his weekly “meet” with Tommy Egan.

Rodrigo Blankenship

There’s no way to look at this photo and not think Rodrigo Blankenship is either the Colts kicker, the team’s Capologist, or the owner’s son. SPOILER: He’s the kicker and kickers are just the best.

Bill Belichick

If the regular season hadn’t just ended, it might be time for a wellness check on Bill Belichick. At long last, it’s time for The Bill to start grocery shopping for next season. Now sing it with me, coach!

You’ll be back and everyone damn well knows it, Bill. Chin up!