Since I’m a Cleveland Browns fan and my team sucks so much at life—and playing football—I’ve never experienced what it’s actually like to have a team play in the Super Bowl, leaving me hunting for other ways to enjoy the big game.
Enter: prop bets.
While I should say that we here at BroBible don’t condone gambling—it’s a bad, bad habit, guys—with Americans estimated to spend $4.2 billion on some sort of wager on this year’s Super Bowl 50, it looks as if a lot of people have the itch.
And with some interesting prop bets up for grabs, I decided to rank a few from the least to most likeliest to happen—so if you win cash, I better get a Twitter shout-out.
12. Will Denver win Super Bowl, Peyton Manning Retires, San Antonio wins NBA Championship, Tim Duncan Retires?
Yes: +2000
Hey, it could happen, right? Of course, that would require Peyton’s Broncos not only beating this year’s, probable, NFL MVP in Cam Newton, calling quits afterwards and then leaving your gambling ass to hope the Spurs and Tim Duncan can knock off the juggernaut Warriors and last year’s NBA MVP Steph Curry, sooo… yeah, don’t you fucking dare take this one.
11. Will There Be an Earthquake During the Game?
Yes: +1000
I’m not saying that I hope there’s an earthquake, guys, but I am saying that there’s a good chance of Mother Nature getting involved in this game since it’s being played in Santa Clara, Cali., where seismic activity can be common.
It’s a hell of a payout, too, so maybe just a small earthquake occurring where no one gets hurt would be OK—I want that money!
10. Will either backup QB take a snap in the game?
Yes: +200 No: -300
Go ahead and call me a moron considering the starting QBs are two of the best the league has ever seen, but something tells me that the Panthers’ Derek Anderson and the Broncos’ Brock Osweiler should be ready to be called upon.
Given the fact that SuperCam takes so many hits and Osweiler filled in for an injured Manning earlier this season, I could see this happening—even if it’s just for a single snap or for a trick play.
9. Will “Left Shark” Make an appearance on stage during the Super Bowl Halftime Show?
Yes: +1000
I assume we all remember last year’s Super Bowl when that fucking shark mascot stole the show from Katy Perry during her halftime performance, causing so many people to freakout afterwards.
Considering this is the NFL—who loves attention for dumb shit—I wouldn’t put it past them or the sponsor of the halftime show this year from tossing Left Shark on stage for pure ratings.
It’d kind of be a hilarious troll if it were to happen, but this is a tough call and a serious toss up.
8. Will Peyton Manning be seen crying at any point during the entire Broadcast?
Yes: +600 No: -1200
This is the one that I was most torn over, as the Broncos QB usually keeps his shit together, but, since it could be his last career game, could shed a tear or two.
Guys cry after winning or losing a Super Bowl all the time, so with rumors that Manning could call it quits following the game regardless of outcome, I say go for it and take the yes on the league’s all-time leading passer crying.
7. Will there be a penalty for excessive celebration?
Yes: +250 No: -400
We’ve already seen some butthurt fans write letters to Cam Newton for his dapping, so there’s a good chance the refs will keep a close eye on anything that might be a little too much.
The NFL isn’t referred to as the “No Fun League” for nothing, bros, so don’t be surprised if an official gets caught up in the moment and tosses a flag if and when Newton crosses the goal-line.
It’d be a damn shame if that happened, but hey, that’s the NFL.
6. Will either Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton or Bernie Sanders be mentioned during the Broadcast?
Yes: +200 No: -300
The chances of this happening are already high in my opinion, but, if one of the three Presidential candidates are actually in attendance, the odds just jumped by about 1000 percent.
It’s an election year and The Donald, Hilary and Bernie are constantly in the news, so expect at least something about one (or all three) to be dropped during the broadcast.
5. Will Peyton Manning throw a Pick 6 in the game?
Yes: +300 No: -500
The numbers are so blatantly obvious here that you just have to take the yes on this one.
Not only did Manning throw 17 interceptions during the regular season, but Panthers All-Pro linebacker Luke Kuechly, has notched a pick-six in each of the team’s two playoff games. For that reason, it just seems like destiny.
4. Will Cam Newton break the Super Bowl record of most rushing yards by a QB?
Yes: +250 No: -400
The current record is 64 yards by Steve McNair during Super Bowl XXXIV, but Cam averaged just about 40 rushing yards per game during the regular season, so this one’s tough.
Going against a Denver defense who swarms—especially from outside rushers Von Miller and DeMarcus Ware—it wouldn’t be too shocking to see Newton bust a big one when the pocket collapses.
I think Cam breaks the record, but, then again, he could grab it and then lose it by kneeling down to lose yardage at the end of the game—because that has happened to me before.
3. Will Mike Carey be wrong about a challenge?
Yes: +145 No: -190
Given the fact the zebras have blown at doing their jobs for the entire NFL season, missing calls left and right, I’d actually throw some good money on this one.
No, I’m not talking thousands of dollars or anything, but you know that head ref Mike Carey and his crew are bound to mess something up during the biggest game of the season, so a cool $10 could earn you a decent return.
2. Will Ted Ginn Jr. Drop A Pass?
Yes: -130 No: -110
As a former Ohio State Buckeye standout, I’ve always respected the Carolina Panthers receiver, but this is about winning cold hard cash, and Ginn dropping a pass is almost as certain as you and me eating way too much while watching the Super Bowl.
According to a stat from NBC Sports, Ginn tied for second in the league with 10 dropped passes in the regular season.
Biggest game of the year, butterflies and nerves, this could happen on the first play of the game!
1. Will Beyonce show her boobs during halftime performance?
Yes: -350 No: +260
OK, I’ll be the first to admit that this is the one that I hope happens the most because, boobs, guys!
While Bey isn’t the type of chick to jump around on stage with her ladies hanging out too often, there have been stranger happenings in Super Bowl halftime history, so let’s hope a wardrobe malfunction happens again this year.