You Guys, Some Soccer Player Scored 5 Goals In Nine Minutes As A Sub, Broke All Kinds Of Records

You guys, if you know anything about soccer, you know that it can be quite tricky to score just one goal, let alone netting multiple ones. Hell, that’s probably why so many people can’t stand watching the sport, because it’s not exciting enough for them.

Bayern Munich player Robert Lewandowski just blew everyone’s fucking mind in today’s game against Wolfsburg, though, because he put in 5 goals in just nine minutes.

Making this even more impressive is that Lewandowski came on at halftime as a substitute, meaning he averaged a goal by himself every nine minutes, since there are 45-minute halves.

I don’t care if you’re Pele, Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi, that shit is impressive as hell.

As another crazy stat, the leading goal scorer in the Bundesliga entering the match was actually Lewandowski’s Bayern teammate, Thomas Muller, who had six. So, yeah, there’s how ridiculous of a match the substitute just had.

As you’d imagine the Interwebs were on fire with praise and historical info to better explain the accomplishment:

Sports Illustrated‘s Grant Wahl tweeted:

“”Fellow German superstar athlete Dirk Nowitzki said:

ESPN’s Twitter added this:

“”And Bayern Munich’s manager, Pep Guardiola’s reaction was priceless:

[H/T FTW.USAToday]

Nick Dimengo avatar
Nick's a Sr. Editor for BroBible, mainly relying on his Sports Encyclopedia-like mind to write about things. He's also the co-host of the BroBible podcast "We Run This," and can be seen sweating his ass off while frequently running 10+ miles around Seattle.