Soccer Player Banned For 5 Years After Biting Opponent In His Ding Dong During A Fight After The Game

Soccer ball and cleats

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It’s not often you see an athlete banned from his/her sport for an incident that took place after a competition but then again, it’s not often you hear about some psychopath biting another dude in his family jewels in the parking lot resulting in the injured party needing stitches on his dong.

There are unspoken rules during a fight and ‘biting a man in the dick’ is definitely a violation of those rules. I’d need to go back and brush up on the rest of the rules but I’m absolutely certain that ‘cock-biting during a fight’ is breaking the Man Code™.

Fun fact about me: I was the first high school soccer player in the state of Florida to get banned from the sport for 6 weeks for a red card because the rule had changed just hours before I received a yellow card for a foul I didn’t commit. I was on the other side of the fucking field and the ref was blind and thought I looked the same as another player. I chewed him out for it and he gave me a red card, thus banning me from the sport of soccer for six weeks my junior year of H.S…And I’m still salty.

Anyway, this player in France has been banned FOR FIVE LONG YEARS after biting an opponent in the tallywacker during a fight in the parking lot, according to reports:

An amateur player was suspended for five years in a local league in eastern France for biting one of his opponents below the belt during a post-match fight.
The crime was committed after a second division game between Terville and Soetrich in a local league on 17 November.
According to a local news website in Lorraine, a player from each side started fighting, another a Terville player joined in, apparently trying to separate them. The Soetrich player responded by biting the peacemaker’s penis.

The victim required about 10 stitches and had to take four days off work.

‘The events took place after the match, in the stadium car park. There was an altercation, an escalation and things got worse,’ said Emmanuel Saling of the Mosellan football district, adding that the blame was ‘more or less shared’.
Saling said that because the ‘case was quite original’, the disciplinary committee had called an expert withness before deciding to suspend the Soetrich player for five years. (via)

Five years is not enough. He should’ve been banned 1 year for every stitch the guy had to have sewn into his schlong.

In fact, it should’ve just been a lifetime ban and the dude should probably be spending some time behind bars. 10 stitches!!!! Imagine having to get 10 stitches in your dick because you tried to break up a fight and some crazy person but you in the dong. I’d want that person institutionalized.

The injured player was suspended six months for his role in the altercation which is totally fine given that he also had to get TEN STITCHES in his penis.

According to BR Football, these two teams are set to face each other again on May 17. Obviously, both players will still be suspended at that point but I’m sure it will be a heated game nonetheless.