New game: Wake up everyday and bet your roommate $20 that Tommy Lasorda is dead. Everyday you lose, double down for the following day. And just keep doing that over and over again. Because, the way things are going, you’re going to be able to cash out BIG sooner rather than later. Why? Because the 88 year-old former LA Dodgers manager is already well into his “fuck you” tour. And, as I’ve discussed at length before, you only get into that frame of mind when you’re old as shit and just don’t care about anything anymore. Not rules, not people’s perception of you, not even what kind of porn everyone is watching. When you don’t care enough to beat your meat, there’s no coming back.
Take Lasorda’s antics at the MLB Draft on Thursday night. The dude showed up and had zero idea what was going on. He fell asleep on live TV and then went onstage to announce his team’s draft pick without having any idea who the team was actually picking.
That was pretty good. *fart noise*. Tommy L just took racking up L’s as if it’s his job. But he doesn’t even seem to remotely care. Imagine that national coverage was of you? I wouldn’t go outside for weeks. Shit, I send a few drunk texts and I don’t want to go outside. Falling asleep at the MLB Draft? I’d probably just dig a hole in my parent’s backyard and live in it. “Why are you digging a hole in our backyard?” “Downsizing.” “Get a fucking job.”
However, Tommy doesn’t seem remotely phased by his own antics, which is probably why he went to a Beyonce concert on Thursday night with Darryl Strawberry.
“If you think Darryl Strawberry & Tommy Lasorda are too old to sip Beyonce‘s lemonade you’re wrong … ’cause the two men had a grand slammin’ time at Mrs. Carter’s concert in NYC Wednesday night.
We’re told a good time was had by all … and the 88-year-old Lasorda never once complained to “tell those kids to turn that blasted music down.”
Get it, Tommy … get it.”
I wonder how many times Franco had to check Tommy’s pulse. “Oh fuck, is he dead? Wait, nope, got a pulse. We’re clear. Just give him a soda to wake him up.” Really, in all my years scouring the Internet, I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so close to death still bouncing around. How is he not bed-ridden? Maybe he’s supposed to be, but just refuses to lay down and die. I’d rather die on my feet at a Beyonce concert than lying in my bed, too. Never change, Tommy. You’re an inspiration to all of us.