Usain Bolt Held A Mock Olympic Ceremony At His Hotel Room Where He Awarded Girls Medals If They Flashed Their Boobies

At this point, Usain Bolt is making vintage Charlie Sheen look like a boy scout. For those keeping score at home, since winning three gold medals in Rio, the fastest man on the planet has been photographed post-sex with a 20-year-old groupie, swallowed a chick’s face in the world’s most aggressive kiss, and took multiple different women back to his hotel on multiple different nights.

It’s actually shocking the dude’s dick hasn’t fallen off.

Anyway, Bolt’s latest sexual antics are evident that he is getting sick of boning whoever he wants whenever he wants in a traditional manner. So he reportedly decided to incorporate a game.

According to The Sun,

Usain Bolt got women to show their boobs by promising to let them fondle his gongs.

The triple Olympic champ invited the clubbers to his hotel where some gave him and a pal a flash.

Bolt then made them stand as if on a podium, took his 100m, 200m and relay golds from a bag and laid them on a table.

Finally, he “awarded” each of them a medal.

When one girl asked who had come first, he joked: “It’s all gold. There are no losers.”

A source indicated that on that night Bolt exhibited a little more thirst than usual. How that’s possible, I don’t know.

“Usain had been partying at Tape nightclub and was in a really cheeky mood.

“At first everyone was just goofing around but he started complimenting some of the ladies on their cleavage and encouraged two to flash him and a pal.

“Then he dished out his medals while music played from his iPhone. He was laughing a lot, pretending it was like Rio.”

Believe it or not, Usain’s girlfriend of three years wasn’t overly excited about Usain’s conquests. She tweeted this out on Friday night:

Be right back, I’m going to bring my 8th grade football “100% attendance” trophy to bars and offer women to touch the glory in exchange for a nip slip. Wish me luck.

[h/t The Sun]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.