Hey Bros, Even If You Win The $800 Million Powerball, The List Of Sports Teams You Can Buy Is Short
Congratulations, bro, you’ve just become the ONLY person of the bazillion hopefuls in the U.S. to win the record $800 million jackpot for tomorrow’s drawing of the Powerball. Now the bad part, the fucking government’s going to take a lot of it—as in, like, $304 million up front, according to CNN Money, and then whatever the hell your residing state deducts. Talk about a fucking BIG tax bill, right?
The good news is that you’ve still got, say, about $375 million left in your bank account to do whatever the fuck you damn please with. And, if you’re anything like me, you’ve longed for the chance to own a pro sports franchise—and I’m not talking about that fucking fictional bullshit that video games like Madden let’s you control, but the real deal.