9 reasons why Spring is the most kickass season of the year
Spring has technically sprung, and while a lot of the country is still wondering when the hell it’s actually going to get here, just be patient because there’s a lot to look forward to. Soon enough, the snow will melt, the world will come alive, and you’ll be reminded thanks to these nine reasons why Spring is the best season of them all.
9. Longer Days
If you’ve ever wondered why people get weirder and weirder the further north you go, it’s because for several months out of the year they are pretty much trapped in a prison of darkness. Sure, it’s technically “light” out for part of the day, but those are the same hours everyone is trapped inside of an office. The rest of the time, it’s just cold, black misery. But then Spring hits, the world tilts just the right way and people actually get to remember what daylight looks like, and unless you’re a vampire, I’m guessing that’s a good thing.
8. The Sun Returns
The thing about all that meager daylight during winter is that it’s basically just a gray haze. Even when it’s supposed to be out, the sun just hides behind constant cloud cover. But then Spring hits, the clouds start to roll away, and as the days get longer, the sun decides to get off its lazy ass and help out again. There’s nothing quite like that first warm ray of sunshine in Spring. It turns all that cold, gray winter misery into an instant memory and, even better, lets you know that you’ve got months and months of its sweet, sweet goodness ahead. Well, at least until mid-July when you’re cursing it for stealing your will to live under its oppressive 100 plus degree tyranny, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
7. Low Utility Bills
Well, lower anyway. One of the best things about Spring is that it gets warm enough that you don’t have to worry about running the heat, which jacks up your gas bill, but it’s not so hot that you have to crank the AC either, which means that you don’t have to start donating various bodily fluids in order to pay the electric bill. Sure, it’s only a temporary financial relief, but these few months should give you a chance to get back ahead financially, maybe put some money in your savings, or… okay fine, buy a couple of video games and upgrade from Natty Light to a microbrew.
6. You Can See Grass Again
Sure, it’s kind of pretty when snow covers everything… for at least a day or two in December. Then it just starts looking like the depressing surface of some alien moon. All that snow gets packed down, it gets dirty, dogs and hobos start pissing all over it, and pretty soon grass and dry land seem like little more than distant memories. But Spring brings that all back, and reminds everyone how the Earth is supposed to look, and that driving its roads shouldn’t be an adventure straight out of some Mario Kart polar themed track.
5. Outdoor Sports
Your sporting options are pretty limited in winter. You’re either stuck in a hot, sweaty gym that smells like old balls, or you’re forced to take up figure skating. Sure, there’s always hockey, but even that isn’t a lot of fun when the ice breaks on the ol’ country pond and you end up losing a toe to hypothermia. Spring, on the other hand, welcomes a revival of all those awesome outdoor sports. You can play basketball, toss the Frisbee around, get a game of flag football going, prepare your liver for your softball beer league, and, well, the options are pretty limitless. And what’s even better is that you’ll actually enjoy working up a sweat in the mild weather, unlike Summer when the last thing you want is to feel even hotter while the sun tries to kill you.
4. The World Comes Alive
The world is pretty much dead during Winter. That’s just the way it works. It gets colder than a Kardashian soul and everything dies. It’s kinda messed up if you think about it. But then Spring hits and the world comes back to life. The flowers bloom, the animals duck their heads out of their caves, the birds start singing, and… okay, fine, the bugs start showing up too and birds start shitting all over your car, so I won’t turn this into a Disney song. But still, a living world is a lot more invigorating to, well, live in, than a cold, dead one. At least until those damn bugs show up. Wait, I might be rethinking this one…
3. There are Actually Things to Do
The whole world seems to hibernate for the Winter, which makes people go stir crazy and turn into Jack Nicholson in The Shining. But Spring means that everyone is amped to return to the world of the living, which means that street fairs start happening, people chill in the park together, outdoor concerts start popping up and you can pretty much have a good day just walking around town for a few hours without spending a dime. Sure, it’s not quite as invigorating as slurping Mountain Dew and murdering your friends via Xbox while calling everyone a noob and threatening to sodomize their mothers, but at least this way you can actually hang out with women and breathe fresh air instead of toxic Cheeto dust all day.
2. Clothes Start to Disappear
Winter means that everyone is basically more wrapped up than a mummy in a sleeping bag. This sucks for a couple of reasons – one, nobody likes to have to put on so many layers that it feels like they’re preparing for a spacewalk every time they leave the house, and two… well, I think you can figure out two for yourself, especially after you see a women walking around in a sundress or a mini-whatever for the first time in months and it feels like a religious experience. Clothes are evil. After all, they only exist because the devil turned Adam and Eve into apple addicts. So really, it is a religious experience. I’m just looking out for your eternal soul.
1. The Anticipation of Summer
More than anything, Spring is a sort of promise. It serves to remind everyone that this is just the beginning and that in just a couple of months the whole world will be in full bloom. Block parties, days at the beach, carnivals, lounging around shirtless with a beer in your hands… these are all right around the corner and spring is basically nature’s foreplay. Of course, Summer actually gets here and it’s either over too quickly or it ends up being just a sticky mess, but that’s what makes Spring so great – every Summer has the potential to be the best one ever, and let’s face it, getting there is most of the fun.