Strip club will no longer show NY Giants game because it’s too depressing

by 4 years ago

The men of New York are beat down, depressed because of their 0-5 Giants. One strip club has vowed not to show their games anymore in protest. This is the Giants nadir.

Rick's Caberet

Rick’s Cabaret

Rick’s Cabaret New York blacked out the Giants following their loss to the Eagles. The strippers say men aren’t ponying up cash during games. A month of hapless performance by the Giants have taken a toll on the local stripper economy. “We love the Giants, but they get the crowd at our Weekend Football Viewing Parties all depressed”, said Rick’s Cabaret girl Lindsay. Another girl, the lovely Alexandra put the blame square on Eli Manning. “There’s like a hundred sexy topless girls here and everyone was exceedingly happy until it became clear during the second half that Eli Manning and the Giants were going to lose again.”

Crazy idea: 2-for-1 lapdance specials after an Eli Manning interception. Or how about 1/2 off in the champagne room after Eli Manning face. Man, I’m a marketing genius. Rick, you should probably hire me, though, I’m not sure I can solve your client’s erectile issues. Here’s what busty Yvonne had to say: “I’ve been showing off my new 34Ds and getting compliments all the time, except right after Giants games–the guys are sort of deflated.”

So this is worse than we all thought. This is like the boobacalypse. If guys can’t get it up for 34D’s, then there’s no hope. Tom Couglin needs to go and he needs to go now. Take Eli Manning with you. The men of New York deserve their boners.

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