Man Writes Epic Craigslist Post About How He Wants To Be Buried, Needs Your Help, Is A Complete Badass

A man from Kansas City has no intention of kicking the bucket any time in the near future, but that’s not stopping him from making his preparations now. This man wants to be buried in the style of the Old Gods, to be given a proper viking burial just like his Norse ancestors of yesteryear. What’s that entail exactly? You’ve probably seen it happen before in a movie or on TV, but I don’t want to spoil too much so let’s get to this dude’s badass Craigslist post (keep in mind, if you can help him fulfill this dream he very much needs that help):

Here’s that text if it’s too hard for you to read from the screenshot:

Large Wooden Viking Ship
I don’t have any desire to die in the near future but I would like to be buried in the traditional Viking manner. It doesn’t need to be a super old boat because I realize that would be very hard to find given the youth of our nation. However, it does need to be wooden. If you have an awesome rowboat or canoe that’s made with reasonably aged wood or wood from overseas, that would suffice. No paddleboats, please. Oars are optional but preferred. Also, it should be delivered by a very tall Nordic man who is single. Not for me. I will be dead or at least planning for it. It’s for a friend who is also tall. Please reach out to me if you satisfy the above conditions.

So, bros, if you know where this dude can secure a large wooden ship to have his body burned upon after he passes into the after life, CLICK HERE to head on over to Craigslist and hook him up!

Now if you’ll humor me for a moment I’d just like to first address why I used ‘epic’ in the headline: it’s because we’re talking about vikings here. One of the few times ‘epic’ can and should be used is when you’re talking about heroics on a very grand scale, and IMHO viking sagas qualify as epics….Moving on: after reading this I now also want to be given a proper viking burial. So if you know where we can find TWO wooden ships to be burned, hit me up in the comments down below!

[Best of Craigslist]