Brooklyn Now Has a Twerking Thief, Because Life Imitates Art, Or Something
I've tried so many different opening sentences and none of the angles work.
I thought about writing how Miley Cyrus' introduction of twerking to the mainstream media was all a gambit she was in on to allow this woman's crime to be committed.
I felt that maybe our insatiable appetite for all things twerking practically forced this woman to do this.
I considered talking about the natural escalation of twerkers, that the original thrill of twerking would eventually be need to be replaced by twerking in more and more dangerous situations.
I tried to spin a Greek tragedy, the Gods giving us this art and us abusing it, but I failed miserably with that line of thought.
Below is a video of a woman who twerked in front of an apartment building for an hour, acting as a lookout, while her man robbed packages from the place.
Goodbye 2013. You will not be missed.