Many of you are probably thinking “why the fuck would you?” and, well, I get where he’s coming from. I’ve got a hair asshole. We’ve all got hair there but some of us, well, it’s a little thicker than for other people. That said, I’d never wax it. That’s just absurd.
This guy waxed his butthole and he learned the incredibly valuable lesson of “yeah don’t.”
So me, being the hairy young man I am, decided I’ve had enough. I’m going to wax my bottom. I’ve never disliked being hairy, but whenever I use the toilet I just feel like I’m never really clean down there. I just can’t take it anymore.
So today was the day, I finally went out and bought a self waxing kit. I showered and prepared for waxing. I got my mirror, squatted and placed the strips on the ass jungle. This is it. 3..2..1. .. … crap….the strip left all the wax on my cheeks and got 0 hairs.
Panic sets in, I try again…. same result. Without thinking I stand up and whoops, the wax pressed against the other cheek and my ass is now stuck together. Sigh.
Trying to get the wax off only worsened my condition. I tried to shower in warm water to get the wax to melt, but alas the wax only solidified.
Currently on my bed, bum in the air, crying. Fml
The hairless asshole (I’m not calling him an asshole, I’m just staying the obvious) updated the readers of Reddit with his status throughout the ordeal.
Update: Thanks for the tips and support, after sulking about my failure for about half an hour, I mustered up the courage to call a good female friend. She laughed for a good 10 min, but she’s on her way. Really have to poop, shiggghh
Update 2: The female friend had finally arrived and she laughed some more. She used some weird wax oil and removed the wax from my bum. She offered to pay for a professional waxing, I gladly declined and said that I’m happy being hairy and any one that complains can eat my drain clog. The events is permanently burned into my mind, the stickiness never leaves you. I can’t poop with out thinking about poop being squeezed through a mesh sieve. For those asking why I didn’t shave, tried that before, yeah stubble rubbing against your cheeks when you walk is not such a great feeling.
Never doing that again.
If you think ass stubble is uncomfy, wait until the first deuce touches that irritated brown eye.
[via Reddit]