To What Lengths Would You Go Avoid Going Toe-To-Toe With This Child Boxing Prodigy?

Obviously, the last thing a grown ass man wants to do is go toe-to-toe with an eight year old, but the rules of engagement would surely change if one of these dudes called me a pussy. Even if it’s true. I’d be obligated to enter into a lose-lose situation. If I level these little shits, I’m the dude who beat up a child, but if I lose, I drive my car into a garage, close the door, and keep the engine running until I drift off to sleep forever. But no way I would take an L, I’d definitely scream “Timeout. TIMEOUT!” before they knocked me to the pavement. Guys as fragile as I am will do anything to avoid a belly full of white dig poop.

On second thought, the fart in the face tactic may be my best defense. I’m lactose intolerant BITCHES!

[h/t Deadspin]