Thanks to “Ask Reddit” we have learned in the past things such as what the least sexy thing people have ever seen their partner do and things that have made people stop sex right in the middle of it.
However, we haven’t read any stories of just what great lengths people have gone to in order to have sex. Until now.
Thanks to Redditor epicrusty who asked, “What’s the craziest thing you’ve done to get laid?” we now know just how far people will go for a little lovin’.
Of course, to no one’s surprise, it turns out that people will go very, very far in order to get laid.
Here are some of the craziest stories…
I once drove half way across the country for some nookie. I was stationed at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina while my then girlfriend (now wife) was still finishing college way out in the Midwest. 20 hours of driving. Each way.
There was some holiday and the base gave us a 96 hour pass. At the time, that meant we were allowed to travel anywhere within a 300 mile radius and I was way out of that circle.
I didn’t care. I pulled a 20 hour shift behind the wheel, stopping only to pee and call my girl. This was in the days before cell phones (important later). I cranked loud music on my cassette deck and rolled the windows down to stay awake, slapping myself in the face the whole way.
When I got there, I had non stop sex for 48 hours, stopping only to eat and sleep. Then I began my drive back to base. In my beat up piece of shit Honda which had close to 300,000 miles on it.
Everything was going fine. I was on track to make it back to base just in time to get a good night’s sleep and report in for head count the following morning. No one would ever know that I had traveled beyond the radius set by the CO, an offense punishable by actual jail time. (Brig time can be “awarded” for Unauthorized Absence.)
So of course my car sputtered to a halt in the middle of a cornfield somewhere in Indiana. Steam billowed from the front while a pool of radiator fluid, oil and other liquids expanded from below the hood and into the empty road.
I was shaking my fist at the sky and cursing my luck when I heard a car pull to a halt behind mine. The window rolled down and a young lady with dark skin and a lovely smile asked me if she could help.
“Not unless you’re going to North Carolina,” I said.
Unbelievably, she was. She was in the Army, stationed near my base, and would actually be driving past where I needed to be. I moved my luggage from my car to hers, grabbed the registration and got in the passenger seat.
About ten miles later we stopped at Possum Junction, where I inquired about a tow. The tow cost more than the car was worth, so I signed it over to them and continued my trip back to base.
Ten hours later (there were delays) she dropped me off at my barracks with about 2 hours to spare before head count.
TL;DR: Risked jail, gave away a car and hitch hiked halfway across America for booty. Was worth it, now married. ~ garmachi
I faked a shoulder injury and asked for a massage. Our 20th anniversary is next month. ~ NoFunHere
Years ago I went to a nickel back concert. I regret this decision to this day. ~ QTheMuse
I once drove over two state boundaries late at night to a remote home deep in the woods (it was basically a hunting lodge) to hook up with someone I’d never previously met. It turned out fine, but as I was walking up to the door and watching (and hearing!) ginormous spiders drop out of the trees around me, I was thinking “If this were a horror movie, the audience would be yelling that I’m too stupid to live.” ~ MatttheBruinsfan
This was back in highschool. I convinced my girlfriend at the time to skip class and take the bus done to my neck of the woods. The real mess up is that my house was being fumigated that same day but I didn’t care. Literally my house was covered by that giant tent. Anyways, we get to my house, go into my bed and begin to start the nasty. Eventually my eyes start to burn and we both don’t feel well.
We eventually head back to school. I was sick for a few days after. Probably wasn’t my best of ideas. ~ SerialKillerLoser
Craigslist. ~ PhukdNtheHead
I had broken up with my girlfriend of two years recently and had only just started to put myself out there again. I came across a much older woman (Me being 23 and her being 34) online and we started talking.
Somehow I was able to convince her to start dating me. We had been out a few times and finally spoke about sex and decided we’d do it.
So I dress up in my best clothes, get ready to leave and am extremely excited by the prospect of getting laid by this amazingly hot 34 year old goddess of a woman.
The only problem? I step out of my house to realise that it was raining cats and dogs.
I was way too horny at that point to let the opportunity go. I still went back in, in an attempt to wait the downpour out which in retrospect was a terrible idea since it just ended up raining even harder.
Finally after a certain point I decided to brave it out and go anyway. So I step out in the rain, get on my bike and drove out to her place. I reached within a couple of kilometres and realised that the entire approach road to her building was filled in waist/chest deep water due to the storm drains getting overwhelmed.
I was already drenched in water from head to toe and it was still raining… so I said fuck it and parked my motorcycle on the side of the road as there was no way it was making it through. The road to her place wasn’t the best either and since it was all covered in water I had to be very careful about my step.
I ruined my shoes, my new jeans and my cellphone. Waddled through all that disgusting water and FINALLY made it to her place. She was sweet about the whole thing fortunately and asked me to take a shower.
We had some amazing sex that night and she was amazed I even made it through. So yeah. That one has to be the craziest. ~ GreatnessX
I literally converted to a new religion to tap a hot red head only to discover she was terrible in bed. ~ weird_in_chicago
Faked getting drunk in order to have on excuse for hitting on her. It worked. I did get laid. ~ idownvotestuff
I flew from Stockholm, Sweden, to Miami to get laid with a girl I met online. Do note, I wasn’t a virgin. ~ SwedishBoatlover
I got married. ~ Aw_Frig
Now that is EXTREME.
Check out the rest of the responses and equally fascinating comments over at Reddit.
Couple’s feet image by Shutterstock