Doing Cocaine Now Will Make You a Better Father Later
The child you will eventually have (we all grow up and/or have accidents), will be less likely to become addicted to cocaine. No, seriously. A new study tested dependency and addiction in rats, because who wouldn't want to have their day job be watching a bunch of coked-up rats. (It must be adorable seeing them roll up a hundo in their little claws. I bet they work in pairs to do it.)
When they got repeated doses of cocaine, rats sired by undrugged fathers responded with an escalating frenzy of movement – in rats, a sign of incipient addiction. The male offspring of fathers who went on a two-month cocaine bender did not show the same increase in motor activity – an indication they were more resistant to the drug's rewarding effects.
TWO MONTHS OF COCAINE. They wasted two months of cocaine on rats! It's impossible to score on a good day and… this conversation took a wrong turn. Back to the study:
In this case, the male babies of cocaine-addled fathers may be more impervious to cocaine addiction.
So, the rats whose dads did cocaine were less likely to become addicted, because doing cocaine was less fun for them. Which on the one hand, screw you coke-doing dads, for ruining this enjoyable, delightful (so I've been told) drug for us. On the other hand, thank you dads, for preventing us from developing a financially-crippling addiction. Take from it what you may.