These Job Interview Horror Stories Will Make You Appreciate Being An Unemployed Post Grad

By 05.05.15
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I’ve never really had a bad job interview, mostly because I dress well and am a pro at bullshitting my way through life. Believe it or not my “worst” interview was for here at BroBible, and it was because JCamm has a really bad resting bitch face and I was 99% sure he hated me for no discernible reason whatsoever. Maybe he doesn’t like the color green and my dress just so happened to be green that day, I dunno, but either way I got the job.

Not everyone is so lucky though. Sometimes life throws you a curveball and you’re forced to show up to an interview while wearing a marching band uniform, and other times you’re just an idiot who doesn’t really deserve to be working in any industry outside of eating mulch outside in your parents’ garden.

These people are of the mulch variety, via an Ask Reddit thread titled “Hiring managers of Reddit, what’s the most strange or cringeworthy thing a potential candidate has said or done during the interview ?”

When asked about strengths and weaknesses, the candidate replied “I crave KFC and often get myself a bargain bucket.”

I just didn’t know what to say next, let alone whether they considered it a strength or a weakness.

I actually did this cause I was nervous.
“Is this a picture of your wife? She is beautiful.”
“That is my 14 year old daughter.”
“Nice, nice.”

Not a hiring manager but at a place i worked at, they were passing around an application of a guy who had to state that he had been convicted of a felony. He explained that a drunk driver killed his son, so he murdered the guy. (was out on parole) I felt bad.

After a pretty terrible interview for a level 1 helpdesk role:
Me: Is there anything you want to ask us, or anything else you wish to say?
Them: Well, I know the Director. He said he’d look after me. leans back and folds arms
He didn’t get the job, and we advised the Director of his comments.

Not a hiring manager, but I used to have to sit in and record minutes. One guy was asked “What makes you different to all the other candidates we have interviewed today?” to which he responded “I don’t know, I haven’t met them”. In all fairness, he responded to a shit question with what could have been quite a funny answer. But our HR manager was a boring old fart who just cringed and made him feel awkward.

Me: can you tell me about the gap in 2010-12?
Them: I took time out to work on myself
Me: Ok, so can you tell me why you left you last position?
Them: I was asked to leave, and I have to disclose this, I embezzled from them.
Me: So, did you work on yourself in prison between 2010-2012?
Them: I don’t think that’s important.
Now I google people every single time before I interview them 🙂

Dude showed up dressed in a full marching band uniform for a $60k per year graphic design position. We’re talking big hat, baton, the whole works. During the interview I asked if he had marching band experience, and he said ‘No, why?’

I interviewed a leprechaun once.
He was a short, somewhat overweight guy that was of Irish descent, had red hair and a beard. He chose to wear of all things a green suit to the interview.
It was hard to keep a straight face especially when my interviewing partner mentioned a rainbow table (cryptography) and said our code was gold standard and lamented the construction going on at the cloverleaf exit near the office.

A girl stopped me mid question (she even put her hand up) to ask my starsign. Then the starsign of my significant other. Then she asked me to describe our relationship.

Guy admitted to criminal record of methamphetamine possession on application, showed up tweaking so hard he couldn’t sit still. Needless to say, it was a very short interview.

At my previous job, I was interviewing candidates for a position within my team. One of the applicants was internal, so I knew of her and knew she had a few cats as pets.
So the day of the interview arrives, in she comes and we start with the basics. I then ask a few competency based questions and she starts to give answers not based on her work experience (she had trained overseas teams and had an impressive CV), but relating the answers back to her cats.
For example, I asked ‘Can you give me an example of your leadership skills’. I shit you not, her answer was along the lines of ‘Well I have 2 cats and around feeding time I need to make sure [cat 1] gets fed first as [cat 2] has a weight problem and will try to eat [cat 1’s] food. I need to ensure I lead by making sure [cat 2] is kept well away from [cat 1] until he’s finished his food’.
She then showed me pictures of the cats in question. Don’t get me wrong, they were some mighty fine beasts (cat 2 was a fat old fuck) and I have a pet cat, but I was a bit surprised. I did get some decent answers from her on occasion, but it was a very surreal interview.
She didn’t get the job.
TL;DR – Cats

I’ve had some ridiculous interviews.
One older white woman said, “Will I have to work with middle easterners?” And she pointed to a guy outside the meeting room. The guys was of Indian heritage, but was born here. I said, “Uh, Mike’s not from the Middle East”. Her in a whisper, “You know what I mean, brown people.” I work for a tech company.
Another guy seems nice during introductions and then I ask my first question. “That’s your first question? You’re not going to ask about the break in my experience” Me: “No. I care about what whether you can do this job, not what you’ve done the past year.”
Him: “But, why wouldn’t you ask that first?”
Me: “Because I want to know abou the work you did at this other company.”
Him: “well, I wrote a novel you know. And it got published. Did you google me and know that already?”
Me: “I googled you, didn’t see anything about a novel, and that isn’t pertinent here. Can you address the question?”
Him: “The movie rights were optioned. I’ve just finished my second novel. I’m looking for a publisher. Want to know what it’s about?”
Me: “Not right now. Maybe la…”
Him: “It’s this great story…”
Me: “I’m sorry, you’re going to have to leave. If you can’t tell me about your practical experience, you’re not suited for this role.”

Not during the interview, but I had a candidate send me a thank you note from an email address that started “easyskanking420”. This was for a finance position.

I only witnessed this because I’m not a hiring manager, but this dude tried to take his mom in an interview with him. Obviously the guy said “i would like to interview the applicant one on one please” and this bitch threw a fit and stormed out with her son.

[H/T Reddit]


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