Kentucky Fan Arrested For Feeding Baby Beer And Rum After Elite Eight Win May Not Be Suitable For Parenting

a 29-year-old Kentucky fan was arrested on Saturday night in Garrard County, Kentucky for trying to get her one-year-old nephew fucked up on beer and rum in the wake of Kentucky’s nail-biting win over Notre Dame in the Elite Eight.

Angela Spoonamore allegedly poured the alcohol in her nephew’s sippy cup and at one point threw him to the ground, resulting in a hospital trip for an injured lip.

Angela, the royal piece of shit that she is, was too hammered to even remember she got arrested and continuously referred to her nephew as her ‘niece’ until she was reminded otherwise. Sounds like it’s time for an intervention, sweetheart.

Spoonamore is pleading ‘Not Guilty’ to charged of wanton endangerment, endangering the welfare of a minor, and criminal abuse, according to WAVE.

Her thoughts after the incident:

“I don’t believe this. I would never hurt them babies.”

Those babies. You would never hurt those babies, you bumbling imbecile.

I get it, babies are fun. It’s fun to try to get a reaction out of them on the subway by making horrifying faces while their moms aren’t looking. It’s a blast to try to get your niece to say ‘fuck’ when your brother isn’t around. But feeding the helpless little nugget rum because your fucking team that was expected to win, won should be punishable by death. Hell, I have a sip of rum and I’m pretending like I just got a phone call while I hustle to the bathroom to toss my cookies.

This fucking lady is everything that’s wrong with the world and if she didn’t exist maybe I wouldn’t have such a hard time getting out of bed in the morning.

Via [Sporting News]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.