Polynesian Chief Demonstrates Quickest And Manliest Way To Open A Coconut And How The Hell Does He Still Have Teeth?

Chief Kap Te’o-Tafiti from the Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawaii would like to demonstrate two different ways to open a coconut. The first involves using a sharp stick and the second involves thousands of dollars in eventual dental bills.

Look, I love coconuts as much as the next guy, but I’m absolutely fine with buying them already husked from the grocery store. I don’t need to go all animal on a coconut like I’m trying to survive in the jungle.

I bet this chief has eaten a ton of coconuts in his life. I bet he’s also eaten a ton of people.

[via Some eCards]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.