Prince Harry’s Gonna Have Some Grade-A, British Trim at His 30th Birthday Party
British British person Henry Charles Albert David, better know to the world as the redheaded Prince Harry of Wales, is turning 30 on September 15th. The third-in-line for the British crown, the one who likes his booze readily available and his women of the floozy variety (and also readily available), is celebrating his big day in style.
Not only is his sister-in-law, one Princess Kate Middleton, cooking him dinner at her personal PALACE (Kensington), he’s got a guest list replete with all his trashy exes, who are showing up to consume that food and (my guess) service him after hours.
The royal roll call, according to Vanity Fair:
Ex-girlfriend Chelsy Davy, a Zimbabwean who was on-and-off fucking the Hairs for six years. Said the life wasn’t for her, but here she is, ready to eat Kate’s Beef Wellington and maybe get down on some kingly MDMA.
She is also good looking. Ish.
On the list as well is other ex-girlfriend Cressida Bonas, who doesn’t have a Wikipedia page, so I don’t know shit about her. Probably British or something. Likely into drugs as based off of these photos.
Now, word on the street is Harry has a new dame: Camilla Thurlow. She’s so fresh there aren’t even pics online. But she might be there, which could make for some AWK. Or some quality swinging.
Pippa Middleton will be in attendance, too. The sister of the soon-to-be queen, Pipp-Dawg is know for one thing. A butt Harry would die to tap.
You remember Pippa, right?
There she is.
And don’t forget Kate. Kate’s hot, and after cooking, she is turning a room in the palace into a giant nightclub for some bump-and-grinding.
The night, my friends, will end in the biggest orgy the Isles have ever seen.
As for gifts, Harry asked for a puppy, which is fucking nuts because that man is an adult and he can buy a puppy whenever he wants.