The Official Tinder Drinking Game
Materials: 2 smart phones equipped with the Tinder mobile app (one male, one female), tons of beer
Alright bro, it’s Friday night. If you’re in college, class kinda blows. If you’re in the real world, work really blows. You need to set this weekend off on the right foot. Let’s run down the checklist real quick:
Actively willing co-eds? Check.
Awesomely fun group activity that gets all participants the perfect amount of hammered while simultaneously objectifying every member of both sexes within your general vicinity? Gee, bro, I’ve never heard of anything like that but it sounds kinda awesome… sign me up!
This sounds like the perfect setting for the OFFICIAL Tinder drinking game. Here are the rules:
This game can be played at either a local watering hole or in your humble a-brode — I personally prefer the bar atmosphere. Sit down at a table where your entire group can face one another. You need one bro and one female to sit opposite one another and then open the Tinder app. They will then place their phones next to each other and right in the middle of the table.
Now that you're all ready to go, each player chooses an “alias” to go ALONG with his or her own name. It should be a common name like “John” or “Kristen”. This will come into play a bit later. Once the names and aliases are sorted out, you can start Tindering. Both Tinder guinea pigs can feel free to “like” or “dislike” incoming Tinderbros and Tinderellas as they please, while all participants drink according to the following rule set:
YOU drink when…
1. Your “alias” comes up. Hopefully you’ve chosen a common enough name that will show up frequently and keep you drinking. If anybody at your table tries to get cute by choosing some crazy name like Beatrice or Hezekiah so that they never have to drink, then they’re being kind of a p*ssy. Call them on it.
2. Your “actual” name comes up. In this case, you must finish your beer.
a. These rules apply to every variation of your name(s). Jim drinks when a James profile comes up. Mike drinks for Miguel. Katie for Catherine. This keeps the game moving and the bros crushing.
3. YOUR SPECIFIC TINDER PAGE shows up. In this case, you must grab a new beer and shotgun it. If you're at a bar where the act of shot-gunning would be *frowned upon*, a standard chug will suffice. On that note, if you've chosen an establishment that *does* frown upon shot-gunning, pick a new venue next time because this place is clearly not up to your lofty bro-standards. You should be able to shotgun wherever you damn-well please. Am I right, bros? Am I fuckin' RIGHT?
LADIES drink when:
1. The male Tinderer sees a “Duck Face” pic.
BROS drink when:
1. The female Tinderer sees a shirtless “abs shot” or an obvious gym pic.
EVERYBODY drinks when you see:
1. A profile with a “group pic” AKA “The Orgy Rule”.
2. A blatant “fake name” or “fake age” profile AKA “The Fake ID Rule”.
3. A Tinderer OVER age 50 or UNDER age 18 AKA “The Hefner Rule”.
4. A “Selfie” profile pic AKA “The Tinder-bation Rule”.
5. A profile pic with no people in it (i.e. a landscape or a cartoon character) AKA “The What's In the Box?! Rule”.
6. A “mustache” pic (real or fake). If anybody in your crew happens to rock facial hair, they will chug their beer while the others heckle them. AKA “The Dirty Man Rule”.
1. If one of the Tinderers sees a co-ed with a semi-obvious significant other in the profile picture, they choose a “date” (anybody at the table) and they will do a two-person waterfall. The date has to drink as long as the Tinderer decides to make them.
2. If anybody gets a match notification, the entire group performs a waterfall going clock-wise, starting with the matchee.
There you have it, bros. Get out there and start Tindering!
Hey, if the app doesn't get you hooking up, at least it can get you wasted.