Warriors’ Harrison Barnes Had Never Had A Sip Of Alcohol Before Winning The Finals, Definitely Needs Pedialyte This Morning

by 3 years ago

Harrison Barnes has spent 23 years of his young life entirely sober. Like not even touching the stuff. He made it through two years on a college campus at the University of North Carolina resisting peer pressure. He is, by those standards alone, a better man than I’ll ever be. I think those are called morals or something.

But alcohol has a sneaky way of injecting itself into ones life, whether it be masking itself as a post-breakup comfort food or a post-NBA championship celebratory norm. So before he suited up for Game 6 and a potential close out game for Golden State, he told KNBR’s Dieter Kurtenbach that if his squad won the finals, he’d celebrate with alcohol. I guess bringing your team its first championship in 40 years against hands down the best player in the world is a good enough reason to celebrate. All I need is a 40 oz of Colt 45 and a dark room to get shitfaced.

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And after the game, Barnes stuck to his word.

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Peer pressure is difficult enough to combat, especially when alcohol is literally being sprayed in your face.

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No doubt in my mind that Barnes is sleeping on a bathroom floor right now with his shoes on and a cock drawn on his face. I would have done anything to switch lives with him last night and anything to not be him this morning. Someone please get that man some weed and a Pedialite. Or an IV. An IV works, too.

[H/T Bleacher Report]


TAGSAlcoholGolden State WarriorsHarrison BarnesNBA Finals

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