Footage of Jameis Winston Stealing Crab Legs is a Non-Stop Thrill Ride
Jameis Winston admitted to stealing crab legs from a Publix. He was disciplined for stealing crab legs from a Publix. Good people the world over spent hours of their precious lives making adorable photoshops.
But through it all, some wanted more. Some wanted the surveillance footage of the reigning Heisman Trophy winner fleeing the scene with delicious crustacean meat. Today is their lucky day.
Oh my, wasn’t that thrilling? Just a huge middle finger to The Man. I can’t wait until next year when we can read about Winston’s outlaw bloodlines.
Hopefully this exceedingly boring footage provided the closure so many people needed on this scandal.
[H/T: Tallahasee Democrat]