Super Bowl 50 Players From The Broncos And Panthers, As Ranked By Their Twitter Grammar

The grammar-obsessed souls over at the aptly named Grammarly have already started the “let’s do random shit since we have two weeks until the big game” thing and have courageously determined which members of the Broncos and Panthers house the best grammar when it comes to Twitter; the one place where no one gives a shit about proper grammar.

The rankings took into account a total of 39 players from the Broncos and Panthers who have a regular Twitter presence and “analyzed up to 100 tweets from each player’s verified Twitter account, and calculated the average number of mistakes per 100 words.”

I swear, I had this EXACT idea earlier this morning — and I’m sure you did too — but couldn’t figure out a reasonable equation to allow a fair and proper result. Well, Grammarly did.

Below are the results. And yes, two defensive monsters took home the prize for the Broncos and Panthers, with Jared Allen taking home all the grammatical glory.

To no surprise, the dudes on the special teams units, with far less hectic lives, led the way as a whole for both teams, but there’s no way anyone would’ve guessed Ware and Allen as the overall individual leaders. And that’s because you’re a bunch of stereotyping pricks.

Then again, in his most recent tweet, I already see an error on Ware’s account. It’s “through” not “thru” unless we’re talking about a drive-thru, and we’re not.

As for Allen — who gave me a memorable migraine with all of his #ads — he actually used the right “your” when “your” was called for. A true rarity for 96% of ALL Twitter users. So cheers to you, big fella.

https://twitter.com/JaredAllen69/status/669938642605871104

What’s awesome, and makes a ton of sense, is that the players from both Carolina and Denver turned out to make less mistakes than the fans do. If you’ve ever seen some of the replies these guys get on Twitter, you don’t need to do conduct a study to know that it’s 1,000% accurate.