Hey Bros, Even If You Win The $800 Million Powerball, The List Of Sports Teams You Can Buy Is Short

by 2 years ago

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Congratulations, bro, you’ve just become the ONLY person of the bazillion hopefuls in the U.S. to win the record $800 million jackpot for tomorrow’s drawing of the Powerball. Now the bad part, the fucking government’s going to take a lot of it—as in, like, $304 million up front, according to CNN Money, and then whatever the hell your residing state deducts. Talk about a fucking BIG tax bill, right?

The good news is that you’ve still got, say, about $375 million left in your bank account to do whatever the fuck you damn please with. And, if you’re anything like me, you’ve longed for the chance to own a pro sports franchise—and I’m not talking about that fucking fictional bullshit that video games like Madden let’s you control, but the real deal.


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