Alert! Someone out there has in his possession stolen sex photos of Nicolas Cage. Thank goodness the government isn’t shut down anymore so we can get someone to work on this right away.
Oh, man this has been quite a week, Justin Bieber penis talk, Jenna Jameson getting back into porn, a Lady Gaga-Perez Hilton pissing match, and now this? It’s like God answered all my prayers.
Related: Finally, Nicolas Cage named best actor in the world
According to TMZ —
According to law enforcement, the intimate pics were stolen by a former handyman, who broke into Christina Fulton’s house in April and jacked four computers and a box of wild photos.
The handyman, Ricardo Orozco, was arrested last month and charged with felony burglary. He’s pled not guilty and is currently being held on $1 MILLION bail.
The photos have yet to be recovered, and we’re told police are actively on the hunt.
Those police better be super careful, because I feel like if one were to actually set eyes on these photos this is what would happen due to all of the sheer awesomeness…