On the heels of Orange Is The New Black Season 2 premiere, Jason Biggs thought it would be a good time to release his new memoir, I Like You Just the Way I Am.
He also thought the time was ripe to tell the world about when his wife bought him three hookers (in three days) for his birthday, and sat there watching while he diddled each of them like that eponymous American Apple Pie he banged on-screen.
Apparently the public wasn’t particularly welcoming of the news and Biggs was forced to go on daytime television to defend he and his wife, and this is what he had to say according to Us Weekly:
“I didn’t have a good time in the end,” he admitted. “It took three ladies over the course of three different days. Let’s just say I didn’t complete the mission. My wife found the whole thing to be quite hysterical even while it was happening. She was actually on the bed, watching, eating a bag of chips, laughing, so as you can imagine, I wasn’t really performing to the best of my abilities. Also, said prostitute wasn’t engaging with my wife the way I hoped she would and so it all kind of fell apart, and the rest is in the book.”
So there we have it, Jason Biggs, the man famous for premature ejaculation and banging apple pies in his parent’s kitchen…that guy, he’s getting more (and kinkier) action than at least 75% of you out there. Where the hell is the justice in this cruel world?!