New App That Allows You To Text Using Just Drake Lyrics Is All Men Need To Find Love

A new app called Drizzy allows you to text using solely Drake lyrics, and now I’m texting every girl in my phone. All three of them.

This is how it works: The lyrics are categorized by song, album, and mood (Feels, Hustle, Hate, and Random) so you can tell your boo exactly how you’d feel if you were a multi-platinum artist and lyrical genius instead of a dude whose smoothest line is the 2 am “You Awake?” text.

I decided to do a little field-testing with the couple girls in my phone to see if the Drizzy app would make me cooler. I’ll try anything at this point. See the results below.

Results not typical.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.