New App That Allows You To Text Using Just Drake Lyrics Is All Men Need To Find Love

by 6 years ago
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A new app called Drizzy allows you to text using solely Drake lyrics, and now I’m texting every girl in my phone. All three of them.

This is how it works: The lyrics are categorized by song, album, and mood (Feels, Hustle, Hate, and Random) so you can tell your boo exactly how you’d feel if you were a multi-platinum artist and lyrical genius instead of a dude whose smoothest line is the 2 am “You Awake?” text.

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I decided to do a little field-testing with the couple girls in my phone to see if the Drizzy app would make me cooler. I’ll try anything at this point. See the results below.

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Results not typical.

Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.

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