Are you poor and can’t afford college without incurring a shitwad of student loans that you’ll never be able to pay off? Afraid that skipping out on college will leave you as a brain dead hobo giving toothless blowjobs to random people who just happen to pass by your boxcar? Well fear no more prospective students of tomorrow, because at North Idaho College you can give blowjobs to Joseph Bekken, the school’s director of financial aid, in exchange for grant money (allegedly). I know this sounds like 6 of one vs. one half dozen of the other since either way you’re giving random people blowjobs, but at least in this scenario you still have teeth. Think of it as a pre-emptive strike against becoming a blowjob-loving boxcar hobo.
Joseph Bekken, 36, was arrested Wednesday by Coeur d’Alene Police detectives for five felony charges, including attempted misuse of public funds, attempted procurement of prostitution, burglary, bribery and using a computer in a scheme to defraud.
He is currently in custody at the Kootenai County Public Safety Building.
But how does a director of financial aid go about getting backdoor blowjobs from horny yet broke coeds? With Craigslist, duh. What other website is squeaky clean enough that young students between the ages of 17-21 wouldn’t have second thoughts about soliciting blowjob customers from? It’s not like people get murdered from Craigslist encounters- wait…
It started with a post in the “Casual Encounters” section of Craigslist. “Hello, I have a proposition for NIC students. Email me and we can discuss,” followed by three common acronyms indicating the poster was looking for sex.
Spokane Police originally found the post, forwarded it onto the FBI, who got in touch with Coeur d’Alene Police.
Police worked with NIC administration to set up a fake student account and set up an email address. An officer began emailing the poster of the ad, pretending to be a female student.
During their correspondence, Bekken awarded $587 of NIC grant money into the fake student’s account. Police arranged a meet up, still pretending to be the female student…
On February 2, the day of the meet-up, Bekken showed up to the location of the fake student’s apartment, and so did police.
As I’m sure you can guess Bekken’s bio has been reportedly scrubbed from North Idaho College’s webpage, but you know what you can’t scrub out? The taste of tuition grant semen from your mouth. That shit stains teeth like a motherfucker.