Columbia University Class of 2017 Acceptee Writes Humblebrag Blog Post About Getting Into College

First, let’s pat ourselves on the back. Anyone who was personally victimized by these articles was accepted to Columbia — snaps for us!

Putting aside all references to Ivy-elitism that will inevitably appear in some anonymous comment section, we all applied to a highly sought-after school, and we all succeeded. We were able to demonstrate our academic, social, and athletic fortitude to some degree.

In a society that puts so much emphasis on attending a college, why not pull out all the stops? You know, “Smoke if you got ‘em”? In your language: y u mock, bro?

So, you got into college? Congratulations, Bro. Gold stars for everyone.