If you’re a college freshman and haven’t blacked out at least 3 times by the end of your fall semester, you’re doing something wrong. Not that blacking out is a good thing, but it’s something that every idiot kid does the minute they arrive on campus because none of them know how to drink. Throw back 8 shots in 30 minutes and don’t feel drunk yet? Looks like I need another 5!
Cue immediate blackout.
While I might’ve been the only person stupid enough in college to think “Hmmm I’m not drunk after all these shots despite only having been pregaming for 30 minutes, better do another 500 just to be safe,” I think it’s pretty safe to assume that this poor University of Plymouth student and my freshman self shared the same strategy. If not, there’s no good excuse for blacking out and falling asleep in a urinal.
— fawfwfw (@frattgogppe) December 3, 2014
I’ve seen people projectile vomit in public, fall on the ground and even just fall asleep in their front yards because fuck walking up the stairs into their apartment, but a urinal? You’ve gotta be some special sort of belligerent for that. Kudos to you, Unnamed University of Plymouth student, for being that drunk and yet managing to not get arrested or maimed by walking into traffic. ‘Tis a skill I spent my entire college career cultivating, and I’m proud to say I’m now a master.