Princeton Bro’s Mom Writes Letter to the School Newspaper Telling Girls To Date Men Like Her Son

Here are a few choice excerpts from the letter Advice for the young women of Princeton: the daughters I never had to the Daily Princetonian:

For most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this concentration of men who are worthy of you.

Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you graduate. Yes, I went there.

I am the mother of two sons who are both Princetonians. My older son had the good judgment and great fortune to marry a classmate of his, but he could have married anyone. My younger son is a junior and the universe of women he can marry is limitless. Men regularly marry women who are younger, less intelligent, less educated. It's amazing how forgiving men can be about a woman's lack of erudition, if she is exceptionally pretty. Smart women can't (shouldn't) marry men who aren't at least their intellectual equal. As Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are. And I say again – you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you.

Here is another truth that you know, but nobody is talking about. As freshman women, you have four classes of men to choose from. Every year, you lose the men in the senior class, and you become older than the class of incoming freshman men. So, by the time you are a senior, you basically have only the men in your own class to choose from, and frankly, they now have four classes of women to choose from. Maybe you should have been a little nicer to these guys when you were freshmen?

If I had daughters, this is what I would be telling them.

Yes. Heed Susan A Patton's advice, ladies, because according to an interview she gave to The Cut, she did not marry a Princeton man and now she is a listless divorcée who is living in the distant past. Her comments about her ex-husband's school in her interview with The Cut read like something Tom Buchanan would have said in The Great Gatsby, “He went to a school of almost no name recognition. Almost no name recognition. A school that nobody has respect for, including him, really.” FOR SHAME, SIR!

What Susan A. Patton doesn't realize is her pathetic loser of an ex-husband's decision to no longer be with her probably had less to do with his formal education and more to do with her infatuation of hers. Also, her declining looks and fleeing hairline.

J.Camm is the Managing Partner and Editor-in-Chief of BroBible.