Look guys, I could write out this big spiel about how it’s 2015 and literally anything you write down will probably come back to bite you in the ass at some point, but I won’t. There’s no use. That point’s been belabored over and over and no one seems to have learned jack shit, so at this point all anyone can do is just call everyone out until the entire world burns and the human race gets wiped out.
So on our first stop on the apocalypse express, we have this email from a Kappa Sigma brother over at the University of Maryland. Despite popular belief I’m not actually a heartless asshol-…oh, who am I kidding. J.Camm told me to black his name out, but any half-assed Google search will show you an uncensored image. Not that it matters, because you’ll probably never meet this kid and he already shut his Facebook down like a pro. In case anyone’s curious this is the general M.O. when it comes to being in Greek life and getting publicly in trouble:
- Shut down your Facebook/Twitter/all social media
- Get kicked out
- Realize that there’s life after Greek life and that no one will give a shit about whatever you did within a year
But in any case, here’s the email:
Not gonna lie, that email is disgusting. I’m a total douche but JEEZ “fuck consent”? “My dick will be sucked and fucked in compound basement whether you guys like it or not”? Yes this email was sent 15 months ago (you can see the date in the corner says 1/18/14), but DUDE that’s the kind of shit you say to your friends and they know you’re joking because they know you as a person. To the Internet, which has gradually evolved into a circle jerk of Greek life hatred, you’re just perpetuating the stereotype that all fraternity men are racist rape-obsessed assholes.
As I’m sure you can already guess, Maryland’s getting a little…well they’re not happy.
And as for President Loh’s hot take:
The one silver lining to this shit storm hovering over Kappa Sigma is that UMD is about to be on spring break, and knowing UMD like I do no one will give a shit about this by the time everyone comes back because something else stupid will happen. Maybe we’ll get another kiddie pool blowjob or some girl can get paid off to make a birthday cake with racial slurs on it again, or maybe Chick-Fil-A in Stamp will close for unknown reasons and the entire campus will collectively lose their shit over the fact that they can’t get their daily waffle fries anymore. Either way, it’ll blow over. Just stop being an asshole and writing and be an asshole in person instead.