A Timeline of Living In a Frat House

by 4 years ago


There is no better decision you can make in a college career that will top putting your John Hancock on your respective fraternity house lease. Whether you live in an absolute frat castle– or a frat castle with an interior similar to housing in third world countries, there is just something very special about living with your best bros. Only a select percent of this world have been able to throw down during dead week, punch holes in walls, and blast some bangers until 4am, just to answer ANY complaint from a fellow live-in with, “What do you expect? This is a fucking frat house.”

The Convincing
Unless you were born and raised under a ditch somewhere in a far off country where technology and cinema just isn’t a thing. Odds are your parents know exactly what comes to mind the second they catch wind of your future living arrangements.

This normally goes one of two ways. The first way being you tell your parents how cheap it is to live in your fraternity house compared to other options (although you have done zero research to prove said claim) and they are enthused you are “helping” out the family with your economically responsible decisions. Man, you’ve grown in college.

Secondly, things get rough. Your parents just aren’t budging at all this bullshit you are spewing at them. They really have a tough time buying how “fun” of a time you had living in during pledge. They also just do not trust you living in a potential alcohol asylum. Your last option was to put them in contact with your grade-A bullshitters of the house and sure enough it some how worked. Congratulations.

(DISCLAIMER: if you previously had members of family in Greek life this is not apart of your timeline. They know what’s up.)

That First Week
Holy Shit. This is what college is. Is it THIS easy? This is what I signed up for.

Those were the thoughts running through your head…only two days into living in. It was not even Wednesday yet. What a week it was. Although it is only etched somewhere in your blacked out memory, for what it is worth you know for a fact that week was awesome. No one could tell you any differently. All the new girls and hammered moments with bros that are now your neighbors. What a year this is going to be.

What goes down eventually must come up
The shit has to hit the fan at some point right? Well, I guess in this case it’s the puke hitting the fan, or for that matter all your belongings. You didn’t really think it could happen to you, huh? After all, you were such a tank freshman year. Well, now that you live in you know what real drinking is, and sure enough your room surely smells like that. It does not take long for yourself to wake up in the morning with a pile of regret somewhere if not all over your room. Maybe the blacked-out thought of, “This is future (insert own name here)’s problem,” just did not work out. If the name you inserted into that was your roommates, then this could actually be a very dangerous year for you.

The Condition
Even if it is pledge season or a cleaning crew is on the way sometimes you’ll wake up in the morning and realize that maybe the only possible solution to clean up from last night is a call to FEMA. You might end up visiting home during this time period and come to realize you have absolutely no idea how you are living in this standard of life. Where Wednesday-Sunday the hunt for the toilet with the least amount of “What the fuck is that!” surrounding it becomes the biggest priority of your morning. Lets not forget to mention the last time you felt well rested was that time you blacked out/passed out before your team’s football game–and it was a day game.

Although you return back to the castle, and realize there is just something unexplainable and euphoric about living in a Fraternity house.

Although even the greasiest and slimiest of your brothers is able to get his shit straight for the fear of the year, also known as Parents Weekend. Where all of a sudden your house looks exactly like “Yeah I think we are just all relaxing tonight,” as you made it out to seem to your parents.

Pledges Move In (hell week)
This timeline event was censored by your fraternity nationals.

The Sketch-ball
Every house has this guy. If you don’t think you do, it is because his existence is almost unclassified. In fact, his existence in your house is very similar to that of Area-51. He lives in, but who the fuck is this kid. Does he pull? Is his room just some sort of bate-dungeon? Is he the Walter White of Greek life?

There will come a time where you enter this dungeon. There will be one instance during your live in time where for some reason you need to talk to this person. Where this occurs in your timeline just shows how great of a drunken detective you are. The brotherhood relies on someone and that might be you to figure this kid out. He has fallen off the deep end ever since he got a single and someone out there needs to prove this guy still even exists.

The Overload
It happens to the best of us and really is only natural. The overload. It was only a matter time that living with an endless amount of jackasses would cause you to snap. You saw other brothers just spontaneously combust but you just brushed that off a sign they just hadn’t been laid in a while. Yet, this is where you see it. The overload evidently leads to the drunken rampage. You surely enough caused some problems for the house manager, probably told off a couple brother’s girlfriends, yacked in the pledge room, and probably single handedly ruined a relationship with an entire sorority. It surely was not the best night of your life.

Damn, it needed to happen, though, and at the end of the day the fine was well worth it.

Once you move out though. You realize it was all worth it. This is nowhere near close to a full timeline of your life living in a fraternity house. Make your own memories and your own timeline. After all college is only four years, unless a redshirt, and not taking advantage of an opportunity like living with the closest friends you’ll ever meet is just doing yourself a disservice.

TAGScollege lifeFraternities

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