A Gigantic Seal Helped Police Apprehend An Alleged Drug Gang With $1 Billion Worth Of Meth, Cocaine, And Ecstasy

elephant seal

iStockphoto / franksvalli

Sometimes the universe will send you a sign. Maybe you win $200 on a scratch-off lottery ticket as a sign that you have been taking it on the chin for too long and deserve a win.

Or maybe you’re an alleged drug gang who is trying to escape the police when they’ve found you marooned on a deserted island after your yacht broke and you buried an estimated $1 BILLION worth of cocaine, ecstasy, and meth under the seaweed and when you try to outrun the coppers you awake a sleeping seal that turns out to be ENORMOUS and the only way to escape is to roll the dice and run through the seal (get eaten alive, lol) or accept that you have been laughing in the face of the law for far too long, allegedly.

I don’t know you, or your life, or which scenario above is more likely to happen but I do know the details of this arrest made in Australia are truly bonkers. Three (more) men have been charged after their yacht ran aground in Western Australia and they ditched the boat for their dingey.

On the surface, it appears as if they opted to abandon the yacht because there was $1 BILLION worth of drugs on board. Drugs they later (allegedly) attempted to bury underneath the seaweed on a tiny island while they awaited rescue.

Here’s a quick rundown from The Guardian:

Police launched a raid on Burton Island off the port town of Geraldton last week, finding Frenchman Antoine Dicenta, 51, and British man Graham Palmer, 34, allegedly with 1.087 tonne of methylamphetamine, cocaine and ecstasy in dozens of bags that they had attempted to hide under seaweed.

They allegedly tried to flee but were thwarted when a huge seal blocked their path, police said. The pair were charged last week with importing a commercial quantity of a border controlled drug.

On Thursday, Jason Dean Lassiter, 45, an American, Scott Felix Jones, 35, another Briton, and Angus Bruce Jackson, 50, from New South Wales, faced Perth magistrates court charged with conspiring and attempting to possess the drugs with intent to sell or supply.

Those details really gloss over the eye-catching parts of the story: how there was $1 BILLION worth of drugs and how their grand escape was thwarted by a big ass seal whom they woke up from his slumber, a seal that was ready to throw down if they tried to pass it.

Here are some more details on how this seal helped police apprehend the alleged ‘shore crew’. The search kicked into full gear when their abandoned yacht was found stuck in a coral reef near ‘Stick Island’ in W.A., and police were initially worried that the previous occupants of the abandoned yacht were in trouble because they noticed the dinghy was missing from vessel.

Then, a fisherman reported seeing someone ‘ducking down’ on Burton Island “in a bid to hide in low scrub as aircraft flew overhead” looking for the missing occupants of the yacht. That’s when things started to look fishy. Why would a crew be trying to hide from rescue planes if they were in trouble? What reason would they have to want to stay on the deserted island?

Here’s when the chase ensued and the sleeping seal aided police:

When police arrived, Dicenta and Palmer made a run for their dinghy but were thwarted by a huge sleeping seal, Healy told the broadcaster.

“They woke it up and it jumped up with its big chest out and bellowed at them.

“The guys basically had the choice of going through the seal or getting arrested and they ended up choosing getting arrested.”

Dawson had a tip for the pair.
“If you’re in a hot pink shirt don’t try and hide in low scrub.” (via Guardian)

If you are (allegedly) in possession of ONE BILLION DOLLARS worth of Meth, Ecstasy, and Cocaine and your choices are either to risk getting bitten by a seal or whatever potential punishment/sentence comes with that much drugs, are you really not going to charge the seal? Or at least throw some rocks or something in an attempt to move it out of the way?

I don’t have a clue as to what Australian prison sentences look like but I know that could potentially be a life sentence here in America. The chance of a seal bite or a chance at freedom instead of life behind bars? Which are you taking?

For more on this story, you can click here to visit The Guardian.