Amber Heard Reads Intense Private Email Draft To Johnny Depp In Closing Argument, Calling Him A ‘Needy Man Child’ Who Pooped Himself During Benders

Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Dom Perignon

On December 1, 2003, fresh off the raging success of his first Pirates of the Caribbean film, Johnny Depp was named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive.

Months later, Oscars host Billy Crystal confirmed this sentiment, as hundreds of celebrities hooted and hollered in agreement.

But the thing about acting is that it’s as real as a Kardashian face, and the image of Depp offered by Amber Heard and a slew of Sun tabloid lawyers presents a totally different man. Pathetic, even.

During closing arguments in Depp’s libel trial against The Sun for calling him a “wife beater” in a 2018 story, ex-wife Amber Heard accused Johnny Depp of being a “needy man-child” who shit himself during marathon benders.

Via Page Six:

Heard, 34, detailed how Depp has “embarrassed” himself “countless times” in an angry email that she drafted in 2013 — two years before their wedding — but never ended up sending, London’s High Court heard.

“I have put up with so much. I have cleaned s–t, vomit and piss up both literally and figuratively,” Heard allegedly wrote in the email, which was partly read during closing arguments in Depp’s libel trial.

“A real man doesn’t need to be cared for like a baby … I watch as other grown men have to wipe you, basically,” she wrote of the “enablers” she claimed Depp paid to help cover up the aftermath, the court heard.

“Yesterday, I saw you pass out, amongst vomiting, three times,” she allegedly wrote, with the star’s late security chief having to pick him up each time.

It gets worse.

Another Depp staffer lamented about “how many times he’s had to break into locked doors to wake you up, after passing out on the toilet,” the email read.

[Related: Amber Heard Tells Court That Johnny Depp Attacked Her, Threatened To Have Sex With Her Corpse]

Heard also wrote in the email that Johnny surrounds himself with a team of enablers, who consistently fail to confront him about his incessantly delinquent behavior.

“You can’t know because people (friends?) keep smiling to your face and then turning their heads and rolling their eyes at how ridiculous they feel and look picking a grown man up from his piss and vomit, knowing he’ll never be able to realize how bad he looks,” she allegedly wrote.

“If they left you, on the floor in your own s–t, locked in the bathroom while you missed work – then you might have to actually learn. Learn to take care of yourself,” she wrote, the court was told.

Heard allegedly ended the email by scolding Depp for selling her “false goods.”

“How could I know this lay in store for me? How dare you make me fall in love with you, present this other self – your good half – only to rip the mask off once I was in?!” she allegedly complained.

“I feel like the biggest idiot in the world.”

This trial has been a double shit sandwich, and I’m not sure Heard nor Depp can take another bite.

[h/t Page Six]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.