apple / pixabay composite
So did you hear? Apple just unveiled their shiny new AirPods Max headphones with prices for these bad boys starting out at just $549!
They are, according to Apple, “a perfect balance of exhilarating high-fidelity audio and the effortless magic of AirPods.”
They are also not AirPods.
Industry‑leading Active Noise Cancellation counters external sound with equal anti‑noise, allowing you to immerse yourself in what you’re listening to.
Press the noise control button to switch to Transparency mode, which lets outside sound in so you can interact naturally with your surroundings.
Adaptive EQ tailors sound to the bespoke fit and seal created by the ear cushions. Inward-facing microphones measure what you’re hearing, then adjust the frequencies of your music to deliver a rich, consistent experience that faithfully reproduces every note.
They also give you 20 hours of listening, movie watching, or talk time — with Active Noise Cancellation and spatial audio enabled – and when that runs out, a five minute charge will give you another 1.5 hours of listening.
Which is great and all, but why are the called AirPods?
pod /päd/ noun
1. an elongated seed vessel of a leguminous plant such as the pea, splitting open on both sides when ripe.
2. a detachable or self-contained unit on an aircraft, spacecraft, vehicle, or vessel, having a particular function.
I see neither of those definitions in these new Apple headphones.
And why on God’s green Earth are they FIVE HUNDRED AND FORTY NINE DOLLARS?
“The custom acoustic design, combined with powerful H1 chips, and advanced software enable AirPods Max to use computational audio to wirelessly deliver the ultimate personal listening experience,” said Apple’s senior VP of worldwide marketing Greg Joswiak.
Got it. But why are they called AirPods? And why are they so expensive?
I’m not the only one asking these questions.
Me looking at the AirPods Max price pic.twitter.com/g1cS3xDbO2
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) December 8, 2020
Why are they even called AirPods Max they aren’t even pods anymore pic.twitter.com/i3sNz3cjj1
— Lime da’ Gecko (@ConnorK365) December 8, 2020
AirPods Max vs. Celta 2001 🤔 pic.twitter.com/MGD8ZwYcP8
— Cauê Fabiano (@Cauefabiano) December 8, 2020
AirPods Max is $500? Bitch better make it sound like john Lennon is alive again. pic.twitter.com/88lpj03ZR5
— NWBU🙏🏽 (@aidanasante1) December 8, 2020
The CEOs of Sony and Bose when they saw the AirPods Max pic.twitter.com/hUC5K5QrgT
— Josh⚡ (@js_11m) December 8, 2020
this is you if you buy the airpods max: pic.twitter.com/yFZVYrtKIe
— blurr (@blurr009) December 8, 2020
Just got the new AirPods Max ngl that sound pretty good😤💯 pic.twitter.com/oWba1eQ80o
— Kyh🍃| WORKING ON: ESSENTIA (@kyh_on) December 8, 2020
Apple Airpods Max, logic explained:
The average family of four probably acquired (9) Airpods Pro or replacements since the product launch.
The average Apple consumer would pay a premium to never lose another pair of buds.
($250 x 9) / 4 = $562
Unlosable Airpods Max : $550 pic.twitter.com/FUWVm7leAk
— Web Smith (@web) December 8, 2020
Ah, there we go. Now it all makes sense.