The Internet Solved All Issues In The World So Now It’s Pontificating On How A Baguette Would Move If It Could Move

Did you get the memo? All of the world’s problems have been solved. Apparently, dilemmas such as cancer, world peace, and poverty have been solved and the internet has moved onto the obvious next issue — how would a baguette move if a baguette could move. God bless the important potheads who imagine up this codswallop and the wonderfully ambitious dreamers with too much time on their hands who dissect it and attempt to provide a logical answer for a topic that is obviously set in a make-believe world.

A British comedian and animator named “Dave,” who goes by the Twitter handle of @sheepfilms, proposed the crucial existential question: “If baguettes could move, how would they move? Give your reasoning pls.” The animator provided four different and distinct movements for the French bread.

The tweet went incredibly viral, with nearly 100,000 RTs and over 264,000 Likes. The internet voted on how exactly a line of yeast would move if it could actually move. According to over 473,000 fine people of Twitter, eight percent said a baguette would gallop, 13 percent said it would move like a caterpillar, 17 percent said the bread would move like a worm, and the overwhelming amount of 62 percent said it would move like a robot. Sadly, nobody said that bread would merely loaf around.

Everything is so stupid. A baguette would clearly not move in any of those preposterous motions. A baguette would of course move by rolling. How else would bread move except roll? Wake up sheeple.