Beer Bandit Somehow Steals 5 Cases Of Beer In One Run And I’m Not Even Mad, That’s Amazing

Never underestimate a man’s passion for beer. Ever. Women claim they “love” wine, but have you ever seen a woman steal five bottles of rosé from the liquor store? Not once. But here we have a gentleman who worships beer so very much that he risks going to jail to steal FIVE cases of Bud Light.

We take you to Arlington, Texas, where this beer bandit displayed the dedication and the dexterity to not only steal one case of beer, but five cases at one time. Surveillance footage caught the moment where this beer burglar somehow managed to wedge five cases from his fingertips to his chest and does his best Saquon Barkley as he sprints out of a convenience store.

“Here is a textbook definition of a beer run,” the Arlington Police Department wrote on Twitter. “This beer baron swiped 5 cases from a convenience store in the 5000 block of Little School Road and took off.”

We were all wondering what happened to Warren Sapp. Look at this man with the impeccable field vision equivalent to Marshawn Lynch as he quickly identifies open holes he will hit for his masterful escape.

My dude, you only get free Bud Light if the Browns win a game and you live in Cleveland. It appears that the cases of Bud Light retail for $16.99 at this retail location making the heist worth a grand total of $84.95. Not exactly worthy of potentially going to jail over, but bruh needs his beer.

This dude deserves his own Bud Light commercial.

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
🎵Real men of genius🎵
Today we salute you, Mr. Steal 5 Cases Of Beer Guy.
🎵Mr. Steal 5 Cases Of Beer Guy🎵
Any thief can steal a case of beer and maybe even two cases of beer, but it takes real talent to steal FIVE cases of beer in one shot. Stealing one case of beer is just a waste of time but you’re the epitome of efficiency and pushing your body to the limit. You’re like the Jim Brown of convenience store beer heists.
🎵Mr. Steal 5 Cases Of Beer Guy🎵
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light from one of the five cases that you stole because you’ve earned it.
🎵Mr. Steal 5 Cases Of Beer Guy🎵