# Well, This Sucks: Being The First To Board An Airplane Can Be Hazardous To Your Health

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Common sense will tell you that flying in an airplane is like taking a swim in a giant perti dish of human filth. However, as we learned recently with regard to the air conditioning vents on a plane, there are ways to make it a little less of a health risk.

But this? This is just effing annoying.

As if flying isn’t already a gigantic pain in the ass, now comes news that being one of the first to board an airplane can actually be a health risk.

Now I don’t know about you, but when I fly I sure as shit don’t want to be one of the last people on the plane. Granted, my seat is guaranteed, but you have make that walk down the aisle praying that somewhere within 10 feet of your seat there is some overhead compartment room. It’s much better to get on the plane early so you can stow your stuff right above you. It’s called “priority boarding” for a reason, y’all.

But now a team of researchers from Arizona State University have gone ahead and wrecked all that because they say that being one of the first people on an airplane puts you at the most risk of catching an illness.

Reports The Independent

Studying different types of boarding scenarios using a mathematical model, the team wanted to see how a disease – such as Ebola – would spread if just one person one board was sick.

Alarmingly, the results showed that the method of boarding in zones with first class at the front increased the likelihood of someone being exposed to the infected individual.

For example, if the infected person was seated in row 18C, they would have to travel past 18 rows of passengers that have already been filled. As such, this would increase the likelihood that the person’s disease would spread to these passengers and on to others as the plane continues to fill.

Awesome.

So how do we fix this? According to the researchers, a two-zone boarding process, seating half the plane from the front and half from the back would work best, lowering passenger contact 27 percent.

I am ALL IN on lowering passenger contact.

They also stated that if airlines used smaller planes with only 50 seats, it would reduce the risk by another 13 percent. Yeah, well, that’s never going to happen.

I think at this point I will just opt to never leave my house to do anything. It’s safer that way. I think.