Trying to put preemptive restrictions on a bachelor party is like trying to tame a bucking bronco with a Coldplay song. The entire reason you’re spending exorbitant amounts of money on your friend is not to honor his love with what’s her face, but it’s for you–to blow off some steam, beat your liver into submission, drunk wrestle your buddy’s high school friend you barely know, and go home just as you were before the bachelor party: hating yourself.
Every bachelor/ette party should be treated as if you’re in an Outback Steakhouse: No Rules, Just Right.
When I stumbled across this email that a girl sent to 16 other bachelorette attendees before a weekend in Vegas, a part of me died. The girl cited her religious beliefs as a reason to impose suffocating restrictions on the rest of the bridal party–no drinks, no sex, no uninvited guests.
The email was shared on a Facebook wedding shaming group and went viral from there.
Read and weep my friends.
I have exactly zero people who would non-ironically utter the phrase ‘Father inscribed in my heart’ in my phone contacts.
It gets worse.
After stripping the party of all enjoyment, she has the gall to include a call to action–“Throw me $50 so at least you can eat away your depression.”
Note to self: Do not approach this group when I’m puking down my chin during my upcoming trip to Vegas.