Chet Hanks Gives Update On His Parents’ Coronavirus Diagnosis While Also Trying To Get Laid


Coronavirus has a morbid sense of humor.

That is the only reasonable conclusion to make after the virus infected Tom Hanks, America’s Sweetheart, and sunk its claws in Rudy Gobert after the Jazz center mocked security measures by touching all mics in the media room days before being infected.

In a statement released to Deadline, Tom Hanks confirmed he and his wife Rita Wilson tested positive for the Coronavirus while on location for the pre-production of Baz Luhrmann’s upcoming Elvis Presley biopic. Hanks claimed he and Rita were experiencing cold-like symptoms—body aches, chills, slight fevers.

Chet, Hanks’ son and former rapper, spoke about his parents’ condition in a video that also served as a thirst trap.

Some poignant reactions:


Please everyone follow Chet’s lead in taking the proper precautions against this insidious virus.

In an seriousness, Chet will be a forever legend in my mind from the stories that leaked from his days at Northwestern.

Dude is too cool to catch the virus. And I ain’t even trippin.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.