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Without turning this into a political conversation, let’s just say that we’re living in some highly volatile times. I think everyone on all sides of the political spectrum will agree with that. And now Costco is trying to profit off people’s fear of an uncertain future. A future that might include nuclear war and living in an underground bunker for a year eating canned food and reenacting your favorite Seinfeld episodes just to pass the time.
Do I think that is what the future holds in store for us? I sure hope not. But if it is what is ahead, by God I hope the fucking nuke kills me because I don’t want to live in a world without Wi-Fi.
Anyway, if you are of the opinion that the end of the world as we know it is near, you might want to pull out your wallet and purchase this Doomsday survival food kit from Costco. For the low price of $6,000, you can feed a family of four a balanced, 2,000 calorie-per-day diet for an entire year. Just look at all the food!
Nutristore™ Foods Included:
(72) Hard White Wheat (30 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(72) White Rice (30 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(72) Elbow Macaroni Pasta (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(72) Instant Rotini Pasta (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(42) Instant Pinto Bean Flakes (30 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA/Canada)
(36) Instant Black Beans (30 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA/Canada)
(36) Instant Lentils (30 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA/Canada)
(36) Instant Milk (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(36) Dehydrated Potatoes (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(16) Beef TVP (10 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(16) Chicken TVP (10 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(12) Freeze-dried Corn (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(8) Freeze-dried Broccoli (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA/Mexico)
(8) Freeze-dried Green Beans (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA/New Zealand)
(8) Dehydrated Apples (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(8) Butter Powder (5 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(8) White Sugar (30 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(8) Brown Sugar (10 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(6) Dehydrated Carrots (10 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA/Poland)
(6) Freeze-dried Bananas (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: Ecuador)
(6) Freeze-dried Raspberries (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA/Chile/Serbia)
(6) Freeze-dried Strawberries (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA/Mexico)
(4) Freeze-dried Onions (25 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA/India)
(2) Chicken Bouillon (5 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(2) Shortening Powder (3 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
(2) Iodized Salt (30 year shelf life / Country of Origin: USA)
Mmm. Mmm. Mmmm! Doomsday can’t come soon enough. After reading that list, I can’t wait to get down in the bunker and stuff my face full of dehydrated potatoes.
And if this $6,000 kit is too much food for you and your family, don’t worry because Costco also offers smaller Doomsday kits.